Author Topic: Questions  (Read 1689 times)

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Re: Questions
« Reply #30 on: October 16, 2016, 11:06:57 am »
So that was a nice ride on my bike. I ran into my past drug addiction and my past relation problems and talked to them, gave them both some space to talk, had some coffee, enjoyed a nice walk in the forrest and went back home. It's good to be in this **** container. For today, i'll call it the love container or maybe.. the food for **** container. That's a nice one.

Now back to the madhouse, i think the're expecting me..


Jed McKenna

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Re: Questions
« Reply #31 on: October 17, 2016, 10:09:27 am »
Just remember... it's all entertainment.

Love ya, Jed.
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Re: Questions
« Reply #32 on: October 19, 2016, 11:33:35 am »
Hakuna matata.

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« Reply #33 on: October 24, 2016, 03:18:58 pm »
Started reading dream state this week. Most of the time these insights come after reading a book.
Quite amusing it is.

Jed McKenna

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« Reply #34 on: October 25, 2016, 01:15:42 am »
Books are a catalyst for insights... but don't cling to any... just observe and let them, and everything, go.

Love ya, Jed.

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« Reply #35 on: October 25, 2016, 06:43:12 am »
Well this time the stuff that is in the book was partially in my head already. So it started with insight, then i picked the right book which confirmed my thoughts. Thats the amusing part i was talking about. Awesome.

Jed McKenna

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« Reply #36 on: October 25, 2016, 07:44:07 am »
 ;) ;) ;)

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Re: Questions
« Reply #37 on: January 28, 2017, 06:41:35 am »
Got it. Disappointing.. but what a goddamn relief. Jezus **** christ what a mess did i made.
Well.. i sure lost a lot of weight fisically and mentally.

And this forum.. jezus.. what a great help it was. I read a lot...
Good bye my imaginary friend. Gonna mis this.. but you're a dead man Jed.  ;D

Good luck with doing what you're doing.

Edit: i'm not going to miss this **** at all... what am i saying here...


« Last Edit: January 28, 2017, 06:43:09 am by Forum member »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Questions
« Reply #38 on: January 29, 2017, 05:19:15 am »
What if there is no answer? After all, where do questions come from...mind? Contemplate, but never expect or accept an answer.

Love ya, Jed

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« Reply #39 on: January 29, 2017, 11:08:50 am »
No answer was found at all. If you are refering to a previous post..? I wasnt in my last. I am not going to contemplate anything anyomore on this subject. Well.. maybe in a different way then i used to. I arrived at a place i call honesty..

I'm done. Really done. The next couple of years i'll use to clean up the mess i made while doing this obsessive study.. i really took this journey verry serious.. maybe a little to serious. Maybe not.. who cares.

Thanks for helping me to destroy my life... now.. after 33 years.. i can finally accept, let go and start living. As an adult.  And the only help i got from all the enlightened monkeys out there, all the therapists, meditation classed, books, movies, this forum, spiritual exercises, drug abuse, LSD, shrooms, alcohol and other addictions and bla bla was in the moment that i was seeing through the bullshit that was in there. Edit: in here actually..

Still looks like i'm trying to prove something isn't it? Yeh.. just want to say.. i'm done. In my head, you where my best friend in the last couple of years. And not so long ago.. you got killed.. along with my dad en some other authorities out there. or.. in here.

Man.... this forum, in extension to your books. **** awesome.

Well.. enough with the drama. Thumbs up for what you are doing here man.

Lots of love and a big thank you.



« Last Edit: January 29, 2017, 04:25:32 pm by Forum member »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Questions
« Reply #40 on: January 29, 2017, 11:12:09 am »
Off you go now, and best wishes.

Love ya, Jed.

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Re: Questions
« Reply #41 on: January 29, 2017, 11:13:50 am »
Back at ya!

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Re: Questions
« Reply #42 on: May 10, 2017, 07:56:14 pm »
Got "it". This is no joke Jed, but you know that.. marriage gone, children gone (half of the time), money gone, house gone, illusions gone, universe gone, solid ground gone... i'm flat broke, my life is a pile of ****.. did a lot ****, alcohol and all other kinds of **** to keep me away from 'the thruth'. But i can let that all go now.. i can be honest now, finally i can go... further...  and this time the direction can only be up. Start building and stop destroying. It's cold down here.. and lonely.. but f*ck it . i'm still alive!!! I was two inches away from killing myself. For the first time in my life i'm starting to feel appreciation and love for this thing called life and every part of the man that i am. It's all me here...  I've gone totally mad in the last couple of months.. some sort of psychotic episodes.. wich reminded me of my mom (paranoide/schizofrenic).. she killed herself years ago. After another quite destructive weekend where i spent all my money on drugs, gambling and other stupid **** I was packing out some old boxes, read one of the last letters she wrote to me where she described who she was and the **** she was dealing with.. and there was a loud click and many, many, many.. yeah.. many tears. Of anger, joy, recognition, happiness, madness, acceptence... stopped running away from and now moving towards.

I finally got my head out of my ass. I can breathe again.. i can learn accept who i am and everything that's in there. And i can finally start cleaning up my ****... physically and mentally.

And yeh.. now everything you're saying here to all these people makes complete sense. And i wouldnt want people to know my real name either if i were you..

This is where it starts. You right.. it's better to grow up a little first. And it's, indeed and ofcourse, the one thing i absolutely didn't wanted but i'm happy i got it.
Lots of work to do...
Jezus ffing christ how ignorant can a man be... and how much do you need to break down to face the obvious.

I hope this message can be somebody elses breadcrumb somewhere down the road...

Well.. right on time..
And Eddy sang the words...

Oh I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey, hey, I, oh, I'm still alive
Hey I, oh, I'm still alive

Thanks Jed and all you people on this board who are willing and daring to share there processes.
It really helped me to open my eyes.
Happy to be alive! For the first time.... wow!

 :-*

Jed McKenna

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Re: Questions
« Reply #43 on: May 10, 2017, 10:15:04 pm »
Yeh... I felt this was coming....

Love ya, Jed.

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Re: Questions
« Reply #44 on: May 11, 2017, 01:10:15 am »
Padum, tsss!