Author Topic: Solute  (Read 1794 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Solute
« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2015, 02:11:13 am »
That's just an approximation.

Love ya, Jed.

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2015, 12:12:18 pm »
I am starting to see that my biggest addiction is "reaching enlightenment".  It may have started with a genuine glimpse of light when I first saw the Heart Sutra. But the mind hijacked it. It becomes an idea, a goal, a belief. I try to imitate what an enlightened person would supposedly behave: no interest in worldly matters, no judgement of good and bad, awareness of what I am doing, etc. I conduct my life for the benefit of this goal, by putting most of my energy into understanding what the saints said, living in an isolated, quiet environment, quieting the mind, and so on. Even though I always know ego is the problem, I failed to see clearly that everything I did was from the ego self. The enlightenment thing has become a kind of embellishment to the self, something to distinguish my self from others. I was adding stuff (understanding, ability, character) to it rather than breaking it down.

I didn't see it partly because my teachers were also in that mode. A live, real mirror is a blessing.

I know better now what to write in SA, basically anything taking hold in my mind.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Solute
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2015, 07:35:08 pm »
Dear S;

Sounds like you are getting a handle on things.

Love ya, Jed.

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2015, 07:28:09 pm »
Dear Jed,

I feel I am in a strange place. I've studied many teachings, a lot of them in the non-dual category. I've already endured the initial blows from the ideas like "there is no free will", "my self is not real", "my world is an illusion", "it's all emptiness", "love is just another dream", "life is meaningless", "there is no God", etc. Too bad I didn't dig deeper at the time. My self has survived and is now probably propped up by many smaller, less conspicuous pillars. Although I am keeping finding bits and pieces, there is nothing too shocking to push me overboard. I am worried that the First Step may never show up.

Even for those bits and pieces it's easy to see that they are just creations of the mind/self, and can be almost categorically dismissed. But they don't just disappear when I recognize them as such, old habits die hard. My solution is to stay alert and see them as what they are as quickly as possible. This battle also seems endless.

Well, this is just my rant. I want the First Step to happen, so the process can run on auto pilot mode... even semi-auto will be good.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Solute
« Reply #19 on: January 25, 2015, 10:03:10 pm »
If that's what you want then sit back and let it happen.

Love ya, Jed.

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #20 on: January 26, 2015, 01:50:52 pm »
I start to see that my mind always demanded to study the map before proceeding. Time to let that go.

"sit back and let it happen", it's always just that simple. But I believe it has to be more complicated than that -- another SA topic :)

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #21 on: January 26, 2015, 03:27:36 pm »
The belief that anything worthwhile can only be achieved through effort is totally an idea of the mind.  It has no absolute basis. When all the concepts are taken out, it's neither this nor that. That's liberating :D

Jed McKenna

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Re: Solute
« Reply #22 on: January 26, 2015, 07:11:47 pm »
Yes, neither this nor that, now further.

Love ya, Jed.

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2015, 10:53:53 am »
That realization confirmed to me that nothing true can come out of the mind, the left cerebral cortex to be more specific. I was shocked or disoriented for a little while, don't know what to think.

I couldn't see the next big issue/door. Maybe it's too big to see yet.

I've always wondered what is the world, I'll start here. I can affect it (thoughts have effects on the body, which can affect the world). I know it through my perception, which is heavily affected by my make up. At least the meaning/interpretation of the physical perception of the world is totally from me. So the meanings I assign to the world/events have no solid basis. But is there a world out there going on largely independent of me? ... Maybe it's not a good topic to go into right now. The world comes up in reference to the self.  It all comes back to the reality of this self.

I'll have to go to a higher layer of the mind. That would be feelings?

Jed McKenna

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Re: Solute
« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2015, 02:49:07 am »
What's beyond your feelings?

Love ya, Jed.

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #25 on: February 01, 2015, 05:10:29 pm »
At least two things are behind feelings. One is that which is aware of the feelings. The other is believes.  Feelings come from stagnated energy, which is held together by believes. I think finding and dissolving believes is my primary task at this time.

Is "I cannot walk through walls" also a belief? Bashar the ET said they understand space-time differently, thus teleportation is easy to them. That makes me think the so called physical laws are also believes.  Is the whole earth experience based on believes? Does one need be beyond all believes to be liberated? Or just disrupt enough believes so the self can collapse, and after the self is gone nothing really matters?

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #26 on: February 01, 2015, 09:46:26 pm »
No need to distinguish the different believes. Just keep going further.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Solute
« Reply #27 on: February 01, 2015, 11:12:35 pm »
Yup..

Love ya, Jed

solight

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Re: Solute
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2015, 10:24:56 pm »
I am exploring "I". When I lift a finger, it canot be "I" doing it, because "I" really doesn't know how to lift a finger. Something bigger than "I" is at work here. Likewise, it's not "I" doing thinking, "I" has no idea how thinking happens. Same thing for feeling. Then, the "I" I know of has nothing to do with my perceived reality. And yet, believing in "I" does seem to have an effect in how I live my life.

Does "I" have an effect or not? This has a lot to do with whether "I" is real or not. I am stuck here.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Solute
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2015, 10:48:42 pm »
The I you think you are only thinks it's stuck. It's just in transition, a little like recovery.

Love ya, Jed.