INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

Your Brett eulogy is a whack on my head . Twenty some years ago I looked at the people in rat race and thought to myself that I wouldn't want to live like that. I put up a fight, but Maya got the upper hand. Disheartened, the tendency to slip into a semi comfortable coma is strong. But the little bastard is still nagging inside, well, he brought your books to me. Sometimes I question if I still have enough strength to go through this. But how can I live with myself after knowing all this and not taking action? After all, what's there to lose? Actually, I feel the excitement in anticipation of the upcoming fight.  The only worry is that it somehow doesn't arrive.

Indeed. No need to create another belief (I am in a fight) while dismentaling the believes.

I am getting a better hang of SA now. I go through my life periods, find events that still have emotional charge, ask myself what I have to believe to have that emotion, see that the belief is untrue, stay with the words/thoughts/images/emotion until they dissipate. My wife is also doing this and is better at it than me. She has better emotional flow whereas for me a lot of the emotions are suppressed and it takes some effort to allow them to surface.

I was contemplating the cogito. I think that I AM is only when I am examming this issue. When I am lost in believes then I don't know I AM. I guess when abiding non-dual awareness is present then I AM is also constant. But what about sleep, or the twilight period before dead sleep? Can you say I AM then? Or maybe you have full awareness during sleep? Or this is a non issue when there is not a self to care about it?

Cannot assume there is anyone else out there:)
The name "non-dual awareness" says it all, there is not one to be aware of another.

 The effect of lightening up when the believes are gone is quite noticeable. At this point liberation no longer feels unreachable, it will just take some cleaning effort. (I caution myself to never underestimate Maya). I am amazed that it's so easy compared to all the meditation, study, this and that practices.

Currently I am encountering a deep seated belief: what I do to others will come back to me. This innocent looking belief probably is deep in the human psyche. Even one of the ET races take this to be one of their four recognized truths. I am quite exited to encounter it.

Did a re-examination of this apparent self, I found that in addition to "I" not knowing how to think. act, feel it's really not different from another other object appearing in my world. The sense that this is no different from a dream deepens.

I am not totally convinced that there cannot be more than one truth. I agree that truth has to be true all the time, everywhere, not relative, apply to everything. But that still doesn't prevent there being more than one truth. Why cannot there be two truths coexisting?

I can now accept there is no two truths.

Instead of stepping off a cliff I seems to be walking down a mountain path. Not that I don't want to step off the cliff like a fool, life just hasn't presented that opportunity to me. These days I just constantly remind myself of the C-Rex view, see and nullify my habbits bit by bit. No big battles, but a lot of house cleaning.

Somethings I know is not true, such as I have to have a job, but my knowing is not deep enough for me to take action. I don't want to force it, because who else is the forcer but the ego. On the other hand, not forcing it is from the ego too. This is the old question of to do or not to do.  I am watching it and letting the unsatisfaction build.

I've been thinking that even if I recognize all this as a dream, as long as I am living I still have to live within the rules, physical as well as social, and I still cannot direct the dream, influence, maybe, but not likely to become God Almighty in my dream, then what good is this?

Today while driving on highway, for a brief moment I noticed that I wasn't driving, the mind was on something else, yet the hands were controlling the wheel and the foot was pressing the gas peddle, but I wasn't there! The mind got startled, I had to caution myself not to panic or I might jerk the steering wheel. It's very brief, but sweet.
 
I guess I was shown that when the self disappears there will be no one there complaining about not having control.

Looking at my own post I see that I take my self too seriously. The self obviously has its opinions, it wants to survive, it wants to be in control. But the self-appointed self is no longer the only game in town now, I've started to doubt its validity.

The way I see it now is that there is this body-mind I thought of as my self. It's a false self because I've observed that this self doesn't really know how to think or act. Besides, the way I know this self is through sense perception which is no different from how I know all objects in the world, then why should this self be any more special?  "This self is me" is then just a belief.

A belief of whose? I postulate there is a dreamer, which is me in a deeper sense, that dreams up this whole thing of the self and the world. The dreamer is made of believes, so it's empty at the core. The whole process is to dismantle the believes and render the dreamer non existent, as I understand at this time.

The believes/illusions are created by the mind/dreamer, and can only be destroyed by it. I don't quite see how letting it be fits in yet.
 

It just registered that the self is a feeling, so are thoughts. They are appearances in my perception just like anything else.
I've been trying to kill them for a long time, now suddenly I see that they are substance-less ghosts. How funny.