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Dobby's thread.
Dobby:
Hello!
I started SA a few weeks ago, by sending mails to a friend of mine who agreed to be the recipient. I started with "A circle has 360 degrees" and went far ahead from there. In a few days I reached conclusions such as thought-feelings were illusions, all beliefs were false, etc. Except for one occasion, in which I trivialized my love for a girl I fell for, trivialized love itself and trivialized myself, where my mouth opened in shock and a few tears came, except for that, there has been nothing major. It was basically cold logic most of the time. After those conclusions, I started analyzing my beliefs and my life. I don't know if that is useful.
So does merely questioning everything awaken someone? Or does it need an emotional response too? Since, even if I have come to the conclusion that love is dream phenomenon, I still feel love. How will that ever change? I still am attached.
I have got nothing major going here. I love writing SA emails, but I hope I'm not doing something futile. What should I do?
Thank you !
PS: I really like this forum.
PPS: I was really happy when I cried, since I guessed I would not cry for the same reason again.
Jed McKenna:
Dear Huzef:
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I tried to avoid telling students what to anticipate. It's you journey and while I know some standard ''levels'', I leave your work and experiences up to you. Nothing requires and emotional response. They just come and they go. You know there are very transient because you feel one way one day and another way the next day. Really ask yourself, how important is something that comes and goes and changes all the time? You only think your emotions are important because they keep you locked in drama and avoiding the nothingness that you really are.
Just watch them, don't try to change them, and don't get too attached to them. They are very unimportant.
Love ya, Jed.
Dobby:
OK then. I'll try to stop actively seeking emotional responses. I'll continue the SA.
I understand what you're saying, about not telling me what to expect. I'm happy that I'm not going to get some spiritual placebo. Your judgement is prudent.
Thank you very much. :)
ps. I'm considering using a wristwatch again. Memento mori, ya know. 8)
Jed McKenna:
I wouldn't worry about it. Carlos Castenada used to teach that one should be aware that the angel of death is on you shoulder at all times. Not a bad idea.
Love ya, Jed.
Dobby:
Yesterday, was the day before an exam, which I gave today. As I opened the book, and I couldn't understand anything, I was steeped in dread. The fear was rational, wasn't it? I don't work if not under pressure. If I don't feel fear or get stressed, my experience tells me, I won't work at all. But yet this is perplexing, since I technically know about the fallacy of the examination being there, or I being in this situation.
I know I'm not unattached enough for being unaffected by the veracity of the world as of yet. And I think, working on it will eventually take me there. Am I right in saying that?
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