"Hey I watched that show you mentioned"
"did you like it?"
"uhhh"
I hadn't noticed at first, but it seems that striking away the thingy(s) that make me dislike things is also taking away the likes of things. Both being the same cheap-high. I had a lucid dream the other night where instead of the normal pattern of noticing its a dream and flying around the world going on a sex rampage I instead checked out the grass. Its very real seeming, perhaps realer than reality*.
I read from damndest "...enlightenment is independent of consciousness"
ugh. Why bother?
I've been following a trend towards 'adulty' things. Uprooted this people-pleasing thing and I can't leave the house without pissing people off. I think its great, sometimes you're left thinking "damn lighten up will ya!" When I quit my job I got offers for everything I previously asked for (and was declined) and I turned down these propositions for different hours, pay raise, and all that. It was interesting to see the moment they lost hope of me remaining there to help out. I eat hope for breakfast. Are people only happy with me if I do what they want? If so, they can suck it.
I'm starting to wonder if homelessness is really bad at all. I could probably eat a can of beans a day and be A OK, and knowing that I'm at least a little bit afraid of it I'll probably end up taking a tour at some point. Doing nothing these past few days has really led to me wondering how my current situation fits and what could possibly be next. Exciting!
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