Author Topic: U ruined my life jed mckenna  (Read 8 times)

Buddha

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U ruined my life jed mckenna
« on: Today at 06:58:46 am »
I was content. 4 years iv been chasin since 16.First jhana dependent orgination i knew it all. I Wasnt makin much progress but life made "sense". But then i dont know what sage cursed me in my last life. Or the black star that happened to cross my fate. I fell upon ur book.
I hate it becouse it resonates. So many realizations with every line. Every day deeper and deeper. Im just a story i tell in my head. Just yesterday i decided to stop controlling and for brief glimpses "i" was aware of myself walking but who was doing that. Aware of myself thinking but who was doing that. Its like when i was little and the older kids would pretend to plug the secound controller and i would happily play feeling emotional when i lost happy when i won even tho i wasnt even actually playing. Also im going to die one day holy **** can you belive that i never thought about it really. But its actually going to happin eventually every day time is tickin. I know nothing not even the fact i know nothing.Whats true wtf am i. What am i. Not the body not my thoughts then what is i. Regardless i just wanted to say thank you for ruining my life. Even tho shits not makin sense and i feel confused i feel happy? Its weird its like im finally doing my job. Its like when u eat spicy food it burns but something in u just relishes in the pain. Something in me says further further more destruction more ruin burn it all burn it all. Uv played ur part i almost started turnin u and this into a believe into a faith but know i see u were jus a signpost. Only advice i need is further till done. Jus wanted to give my appreciation that is all.

"I...destroy the world, creates the world."  lelouch lamperouge

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Jed McKenna

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Re: U ruined my life jed mckenna
« Reply #1 on: Today at 07:11:01 am »
Hi there:

Thank you for your kind words and I love that quote... so next things is .... (you know).

Love ya, Jed