Aware of awareness... even shifting awareness to a leg for example is automagic. I'm not awareness. What could possibly be left? Gears are turning every now and then in the brain and I don't like it, well, its not liked.
Can't really force acceptance, like in your happiness post you say embrace your misery and I come at it from a veiled angle as to eliminate it by embracing it,,, embracing is probably not what's going on. Every question that arises along that string is from the want to eliminate it and the want doesn't seem to go away.
Should I want to not want misery to go away? Just kidding, same thing.
Wish I could just be satisfied to some degree
Is that the issue? it seems to imply belief in unsatisfied-ness but I'm beginning to think I've never actually hit a belief and i'm still spinning in circles for motion.
The same issues have always been popping up and I've only ever had bandaid solutions.
drama, and an urge to show that its not drama