Author Topic: Thank You  (Read 1426 times)

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #45 on: June 11, 2017, 09:00:04 am »
maybe the 5 yo now needs you to praise my work thus far.  don't do it jed.  i need to kill him off.  completely.  so no "well done"s from you.  let me be alone here. 

Jed McKenna

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #46 on: June 11, 2017, 10:05:04 am »
Can you be very aware of all this without trying to change anything, not a single aspect of it. Easy to say, pretty difficult to do, but give it a shot.

Love ya, Jed.

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #47 on: June 11, 2017, 04:01:18 pm »
very aware without trying to change anything?   hmmmmmm.  so be aware and vigilant so that i "see" it when he rises up....  but I don't want to become the needy 5 yo.  so you're saying be a witness to it, maintaining my separate-ness from it.  i can try.  that would help i think.  but i need to put energy into the awareness so that i am always separate from pariah.  so that i dont become him.

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #48 on: June 12, 2017, 08:50:06 am »
hi Jed. Maybe the writing is to keep me on this. When I stop writing, it seems I drift back and become the thoughts and beliefs of my story. Writing helps keep me aware - even if I have nothing particularly poignant to write about. .........

Writing today about money ...... again!  Still wary of the 5 yo.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #49 on: June 13, 2017, 08:45:14 am »
5 yo,

Love ya, Jed.

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #50 on: June 15, 2017, 05:54:13 pm »
?  Didn't get that last post. Saying it's the 5 yo who's worried about money? 

Anyway. Hey.   Hope you're well. And don't kick off until I'm done with ya. Deal?

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #51 on: June 15, 2017, 06:06:19 pm »
And btw, how is Ishmael Ahab?  The story has Ishmael wanting to escape his dark despair and so goes to sea with Ahab - the captain.  Ishmael has his own identity and friends, separate from the captain. What is this, literary or poetic license?  Damn writers.

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #52 on: June 15, 2017, 06:10:19 pm »
And you betrayed the code of taxonomy not once but twice in calling among Dick a fish!  Abominable!  Damn writers!  Lannaeus would be mortified!

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #53 on: June 15, 2017, 06:14:07 pm »
Nay. Three times!  Abomination!

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #54 on: June 15, 2017, 06:16:14 pm »
Oh the horror. Not thrice but four times......Make it stop!

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #55 on: June 15, 2017, 06:18:48 pm »
Oh. Any idea what happened to Gita, as in "Gita Life?"

Don't get all worked up. I'm still pushing on......

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #56 on: June 18, 2017, 07:41:31 am »
I know what I want Jed. I want to destroy this needy little 5 yo. I want him gone. I don't want my life anymore to be lived through the fetid lens of this needy, clingy person. It/he literally contaminates every single thing in my life. I want to look openly at the trees and sky without mental clutter. I want clear vision and simplicity. I am a very fortunate person.

I am fortunate to be shown what ego is and the pull of it pretty much whenever I want. That is lucky. If I am aware, I can stand beyond it and not become it. I hate that life. I want clear vision.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #57 on: June 18, 2017, 11:16:27 am »
You sound like you have the drive and determination to qualify for the Series.

Love ya, Jed.

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #58 on: June 20, 2017, 06:21:48 am »
I am pondering your invite.....

I love this quote from Julie:

“It doesn’t matter what side of something you take – of an issue or a debate – if you take a side you’ve already lost”

I will hammer that into my brain

Hugh

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Re: Thank You
« Reply #59 on: June 20, 2017, 08:12:01 am »
God. I have read Julie's "process" multiple times and laughed at how far behind she was and how far I had advanced. What a fool I am. I now, finally, see; like Julie did, that this is impossible!  The billions of tiny little attachments that just machinate day in and day out, and that keep me in f-ing dreamland are plethoric!  I can never destroy each little tether!  I need atomic bombs to destroy clusters of them. That's how it seemed last week. This week, I try to counsel myself that I need just take on what presents itself, now. Today. And believe me it's enough.

Every single little participation keeps me in dreamland. Each time I engage without stepping back and watching, I reinforce the tethers. Anyway, today I will kill off the idea that the stop light should turn green (my own little battle)