Hi Jed,
There's been a change. Of course some of it has been already before. I try to describe it.
Everything except silence is bullshit. I do like discussions, but not long ones. Because even the good discussions seem to end up in bullshit. And as I cannot lie, sooner or later someone might get hurt or me getting bored and tired. I'm a bit tired to be bored and tired in a company.
My job is quite nice; easy and challenging at the same time but it doesn't have any matter to me. In a way same goes with my relationships. I don't have any "needs" for anyone or anything. I have no need or energy to proof or explain anything.
I'm feeling okay and I enjoy my living even though I might seem like a zombie if someone could see my brains and feelings as there really isn't any... As I see that even sorrow in me is mostly self-pityness.
Death is my driving force - if something is. It makes me feel free. Lately I've been feeling nice also when thinking this: there is no passion.
I do have question. How is it so that nothingness feels right/good? What is it that makes feel right/good if there isn't 'anything'?
Looking forward to hear your question.