Author Topic: The crazy one  (Read 737 times)

Egonomist

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Re: The crazy one
« Reply #15 on: July 30, 2017, 11:21:55 am »
Hi Jed,

There's been a change. Of course some of it has been already before. I try to describe it.

Everything except silence is bullshit. I do like discussions, but not long ones. Because even the good discussions seem to end up in bullshit. And as I cannot lie, sooner or later someone might get hurt or me getting bored and tired. I'm a bit tired to be bored and tired in a company.   

My job is quite nice; easy and challenging at the same time but it doesn't have any matter to me. In a way same goes with my relationships. I don't have any "needs" for anyone or anything. I have no need or energy to proof or explain anything.

I'm feeling okay and I enjoy my living even though I might seem like a zombie if someone could see my brains and feelings as there really isn't any... As I see that even sorrow in me is mostly self-pityness.

Death is my driving force - if something is. It makes me feel free. Lately I've been feeling nice also when thinking this: there is no passion.   

I do have question. How is it so that nothingness feels right/good? What is it that makes feel right/good if there isn't 'anything'?

Looking forward to hear your question.   








Egonomist

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Re: The crazy one
« Reply #16 on: August 02, 2017, 06:30:56 am »
Here again.

Boredom. I used to be bored a lot in my life. Mostly because I wanted to feel passion in my doings but never really reached that. So this "trying to have passion" has been followed by disappointment and after that boredom. But now. There isn't boredom anymore. However, it's exactly the same situation still and actually all the "facts" are so that I should feel enormous boredom. But I don't. There is just this stillness left.

Nothing is all that there is. So not even stillness exists.  ???That's why all you may do is 'play', because there really is nothing to actively do. ::)  :P Jed, if it does, how does "play realization" differ from T/R?