Author Topic: TRN  (Read 1386 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #30 on: April 06, 2017, 12:17:43 am »
Understandably one might come to that conclusion, but who is there who would give up anything. There is no you and nothing to give up, ever, it just appears that way to a non-existent mind.

Tell me what you really think you have in this dream that might be given up or taken away. How can one take away, or even add, to a dream? Everything in a dream is just dream material.

Love ya, Jed.


TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #31 on: May 30, 2017, 08:31:34 am »
The whole attached-to-being-me business, it's fun. It's also painful and full of doubts but FUN. You want it to never end and end right now at the same time.

Though a few brief experiences of un-attached-ment tells me it's also fun but in an...unattached way.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #32 on: May 30, 2017, 08:54:35 am »
An example: Just now, I want to follow up what I wrote with a lot of text about me and how can I get "closer" to Truth. Which is not serious writing because it's writing fiction for my entertainment and I can feel that. Probably meaningless to write for the sake of posting and getting a reply though.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #33 on: May 30, 2017, 09:20:58 am »
Personality wise I did an 180 in the timespan of hmm 6 months? A lot of forgiving happened and I basically turned into a love-and-peace hippie from show-me-the-evidence cynic. Might be the universe telling me to give up the new age flower mask too as it's slowly being hardened into belief


Edit:

I'm not serious anymore.

After a while of spirit madness I return to the surface world - there is a lot of forgiving and releasing, but things have a tendency to fill the void right up...It's almost funny. I'm filling my time with hobbies and self-improvement and blissful love junk.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2017, 12:54:44 am by TRN »
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Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #34 on: May 31, 2017, 04:37:24 am »
Interesting, I did the opposite. Turn from a loving new-age hippy junkie into a show-me-the-evidence cynic.

Sheesh, I can't even find evidence that I exist, what the heck is that?

Love ya, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #35 on: May 31, 2017, 06:52:56 am »
What the heck is that indeed.  ;)

I was thinking...I did become more open and trusting, but I knew it wasn't Truth. Probably a step towards H/A. The past 2 months was more and less about me trying to keep up the good feeling. And I'm left disappointed and dissatisfied because the active up-keeping is not what I need. Then I assume dissatisfaction is the problem and looked into non-attachment which is just a guilt inducing machine.

So...all in all, stop figuring out what went wrong and grow up
« Last Edit: May 31, 2017, 07:01:38 am by TRN »

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #36 on: June 01, 2017, 12:35:23 am »
Nothing ever went wrong, it's impossible.

I suggest you make your H/A project a series of small steps... like Kaizen.

Love ya, Jed

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #37 on: June 07, 2017, 06:49:27 am »
Kaizen huh. About distractions, how do I deal with them without creating guilt? Distractions are attractive especially at the moment I decide to do something serious, and before I know I dig another hole (hobbies, television, etc.) to turn away from what I need to deal with.

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #38 on: June 09, 2017, 03:28:59 am »
Find out who create guilt, where is it, how much does it weigh.... just basic stuff that any one with half a brain can figure out. Mind you, if you have full brain it can be pretty difficult.

Love ya, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #39 on: June 15, 2017, 09:17:48 pm »
Realization: The word "reality" is interesting because it doesn't contain any "real-ness".

It's useful as a descriptor for...well, this paradigm, what surrounds you and me, "this". If I were to use wild arm gestures to describe what "this" is, I'd open my arms in a way to "contain" everything in the room - I'd point to the couch next to me, the shelves and the window, but anyone who understands can see those are not what I'm talking about. It is to me as the confusing blob of "outside world" and "me", that's appearing in......

The outside world?
Me?
Both are the same thing?

Everything is occurring in ME makes sense as the "outside world" is based on MY perception - the body's perception.
Everything is occurring OUTSIDE makes sense too because it is what I identify as myself that makes the (egoic) ME.

I feel that there's a point where the perception of ME/OUTSIDE collapses as one single ...being/condition - the I-am-ness. Which feels like a poor name.

In the way we use this word, Real = This paradigm.
We (or should I say, I) don't even know what "real" in the truth sense means, because it is assumed that there is no paradigm other than what we are living in.

Is there? Isn't there? What qualifies as a different paradigm? I can imagine some alien culture or life as an animal, but while the content can be very different, the core - "separated awareness"- a being that is aware of the difference between themselves and the outside, remains same.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2017, 02:00:46 am by TRN »

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #40 on: June 16, 2017, 05:57:46 am »
 :P :P :P :o ::) ::) ::)

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #41 on: June 16, 2017, 07:47:07 am »
Something happened these days - my grandfather is diagnosed with stomach cancer stage 4. I'm relatively young, my parents had me early, he is only in his mid 70s. He raised me for a large part of my childhood and is a very gentle, loving, conflict-avoiding man.

I know none of what I wrote is really true and this is kind of attention seeking, but this has been on my mind for a while now and better to let it out. Maybe I'll write more, maybe I will not.

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #42 on: June 16, 2017, 10:40:42 am »
Maybe, maybe not.

Love ya, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #43 on: June 17, 2017, 06:52:37 am »
A rant after a tiring soul sucking day.
We are the match-selling girl. Strike a little match and see warm food on a table. Strike another match and see a husband or wife, a great job and a new car. Strike the final match and see your dead grandma/God/Buddha. Die on the street. A good life well lived. End.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #44 on: June 17, 2017, 07:11:17 am »
No need to respond, it doesnt have to be that way and I was feeling sorry for myself