Author Topic: TRN  (Read 2170 times)

TRN

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Re: TRN
« on: November 11, 2016, 01:50:55 am »
Two days ago I drew the sword across the me I thought I was. It was a very intense moment, but I can't describe or explain it accurately right now because of the uncertainties in interpretation that comes with what's past and memory.

In short, there were no relief. It's all quite unexpected because from the practices prior to that, when some of the beliefs about the self are illuminated with focused attention it automatically results in a sense of freedom and the natural ability to let go some more. I know, shouldn't try to repeat past experiences, but the memories are there and before you know it just kind of forms an unconscious assumption about the way how things are. I was surprised and thrown off, and I fell into the loop: feeling bad about letting it get to me, feeling bad about feeling bad, wanting and trying everything to get back on my feet, and feeling bad again. Angry annoyed and frustrated with practices and inquires(they don't **** work), but at the same time I know there is no other way to avoid it. Self-forced discipline achieves the opposite with all the guilt it induces.