Author Topic: Baloney  (Read 548 times)

Phoney

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Baloney
« on: June 22, 2017, 01:47:05 am »
Lets just do the work.

Got my ramana book, seems really boring  ???. I have trouble making up my mind, sticking to what I promised and when I change something I usually change it back. But Im pretty sure Im growing up. I think Im over bernadette roberts and "my christian thing". I just can't quit this forum. Will I be able to quit it if it so happens I am done? How can an HA just get HA, stay with it, and let go of this forum? Crap how do you let go of anything?

I would say just do it until it becomes boring, but that I see like that no longer.

Thank you Jed, I guess you are the guru for me (try not to roll eyes).

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Jed McKenna

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2017, 02:01:24 am »
 ::) ::) ::)

Love ya,

Jed.
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Phoney

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2017, 04:22:43 am »
Hi so, the next issue is I cant find anything to work on... i mean real work. I can find stuff that are a bit unproductive but what can i do there? Stuff is sticky. When i try to just get in my daily existence it drives me nuts. Id actually say the purpose of my daily life is to drive me nuts.

It makes no sense that i am this person trying to do various stuff. And i am.

Ramana says do the inquiry or submit. Submit what to what? I actually think i am this whole time trying to submit, but i dont see it producing results.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2017, 04:46:50 am »
Two things come to me.

1.) You think you know what should arise. You expect something in particular and that is sufficient to hide what is here and now.

2.) You just aren't being patient enough.

Love ya, Jed.

P.S. Do either ring true for you?

Phoney

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2017, 05:15:25 am »
Bit are quite true. Its always a bit weird to ask a question about patience. Guess i figured i was patient enough.

Also i have noticed i have trouble figuring out what will arise next, what will be the next step whatnot. All my previous steps vould be found answers in books. Here i am a bit lost and needing to improvise. Actually i think i need not do anything at all anymore.

What is next should be clear as a day. Is that wrong expectation as well?

I dont know who is in charge anymore ??? I dont see charge really. Not me not some universe thingamajigy.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2017, 05:16:58 am by Phoney »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2017, 05:55:14 am »
What makes you think it's not clear as day. If it arises, that sounds pretty clear to me. What are you expecting, bells, whistles, blue violet flame, akashic records revealed... all just silliness.

Wait and see what is next. Your challenge is you think you can know what's next when you don't even know what your next thought will be... look and see.

Love ya, Jed.

Phoney

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2017, 10:16:24 am »
Before i had faith in the process. Things ahead looked dark really dark but i believed there was  light after. Now i dont see anything. Id rather just stay here in this hell forever because what is further i cant even imagine.

I just dont know that it is going to end well for me in case. I feel like i am lost in my own hell. How can there be further than here? WHERE , in what direction, its impossible, impossible.

What is the end of this? What could possibly end it? But death, like dying or suicide.

I other words, i am a **** and i am stalling.

Because... I did nothing. I haven't changed, im still of fear, im still the same person that i was at start. I feel like I faked the whole thing, hurt all those people and myself to do what? So am i doing something wrong or is this normal? Im beginning to doubt EVERYTHING about this quest. Everything about my so-called honesty and war-waging and .... Im not sure any of this even exists.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2017, 11:30:50 am by Phoney »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2017, 12:30:36 am »
Doubt the heck out it, none of it is real anyways.

Love ya, Jed.

Phoney

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2017, 05:31:28 am »
is it normal to at some point be indicated that one should stay away from people? not because its "wiser" but because some weird crap is gonna happen.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2017, 05:38:15 am by Phoney »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2017, 06:24:09 am »
As one gets closer to T/R interest in worldly things tends to diminish. The lies that humans call relationships will become quite painful and you will find relationships either change or drop away. You will simply lose interest in many people you use to pretend you related to. All good but a little disrupting at times.

Love ya, Jed.

Phoney

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2017, 04:38:45 am »
I think im starting to get blood caked sword thing. I mean, blood is on it. Its not a figure of speech. Gotta pick it up, use it. Gotta find it.

Suffering is *the* point.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2017, 04:53:23 am by Phoney »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2017, 05:57:53 am »
Nope... for you letting go of seeking/wanting/desiring control is ''the'' thing. If you really want control and think you can get it then for heavens control your desire for control... you will end up in misery, trust me, I know...

WHOA, never trust me.... find out for yourself and then you will own it.

Love ya, Jed. :P :P :P :P

Phoney

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2017, 04:35:34 pm »
Thank you jed. I am trying diligently  to get more control.

Really got a nice kick out of the new book.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2017, 04:38:12 pm by Phoney »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Baloney
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2017, 08:52:52 pm »
Do you have any idea how many activities are happening in your body without your conscious control....thousands, perhaps millions... thank God they are taken care of.

Love ya, Jed.