When I write, I usually try to be as honest to myself as I can, in order to find out what's really going on inside me. It's not like I make abstract statements which I try to prove or falsify (like "the sky is blue"), but I try to explore the thoughts and feelings which torment me. I try to track down my pains to the ground. What I've found out so far is that all of my fears and pains have to do with feeling unwanted, which seems to be sort of the core of my identity: "I am the unwanted one". But still, it seems like I'm not able to free myself of it.
So - what am I lying about? I don't know. How could I find out? The point of my writing exactly is to try not to lie to myself and look at what's going on inside me. What am I doing wrong?
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