Author Topic: Sleepwalking  (Read 3101 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #30 on: December 22, 2016, 08:23:38 am »
I assume you are kidding...   ??? ??? ???. There is no such thing as an enlightened belief system. Systems don't get enlightened, in fact, nobody does... and beliefs are all stories, all made up. If I sound a little picky here it's because I am a little picky. Truth is such a challenge to talk about that a particular shared language and sense of the meanings of words is required... that is until you get ''it'' and throw out the bathwater and the baby.

The time to seek H/A and T/R is not when it has already hit the fan. That is just a very difficult time to be at peace and see clearly. Time to do this all is before it hits the fan, ideally way before. Don't think T/R is some kind of life saver, it is more like a life eraser.

Love ya, Jed.
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alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #31 on: December 22, 2016, 12:15:54 pm »
sorry if I sounded angry and full of ****. I wasn't kidding, I was kinda ironic though, all the enlightenment stuff sounded just like another belief system to me at that time, a kinda luxurious make believe system. that's not true of course but many people think like that anyway.

I was running for long distance outside and at the same time was trying contemplate and do the techniques I have learned here, it was very hard at the beginning because my mind was bitching about being tired and stuff until I caught it finally and there was quite for a few minutes then suddenly "I" got real with a lot of angry energy. it hit the fan with a lot of objections which sounded quiet true, now I know this is something that I need to work on because I know sooner or later I'm in those situations again (I'm going back to my home in middle east soon). It makes sense that its way harder to see the truth when all is roses and stuff but which one should I trust as truth? there seem to be a different reasoning in place when it hit the fan? I don't care about saving my life but I care about the truth, which logic should I trust and why? the one when calm or the one when distressed? of course none because all reason is b.s. I know this is outside of T/R but that's a dangerous belief to have when you are angry (that reason is b.s).
I think having some form of faith in some belief system is necessary as long as we are not done and then as you said it its time to throw out the baby with the bath water ( kill all the Buddhas)
« Last Edit: December 22, 2016, 12:22:11 pm by alig »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #32 on: December 24, 2016, 12:43:07 am »
Faith is making yourself  believe something. It's not knowing. Knowing  is very different. Belief is very similar, just making a story that feels strong enough and valuable enough. Its what 99.999% of humans do in order to get them through a life that is completely non-understandable. It's a massive realization for a human... to  get that they not only cannot know anything, but nothing IS knowable. Trying it on for size and see what it gets you.... nothing if you do it right, and nothing if you do it wrong. Die to this dream and wake up to that is, not what you THINK is, you FEEL is, you IMAGINE is... but to the only thingy that really is... when everything is gone, what is left... I leave it in our good  hands.

Love ya, Jed.
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alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #33 on: December 24, 2016, 03:47:36 pm »
I have a feeling that I'm in a coma and I'm wasting my life day by day year by year in stupid activities and  beliefs which are all fear based and I'm afraid that sometimes later in life I will realize it how I have never lived and its too late to start it. I don't if this feeling is also an illusion or not.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #34 on: December 25, 2016, 12:17:24 am »
It's quite simple, but first off, are you talking about a feeling or emotion?

Love ya, Jed.

alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #35 on: December 27, 2016, 03:35:19 am »
Its more an observation and a possibility based on what I've experienced until now in myself and others as well, I think I can sum it up to not having a free will, but more in Human developmental level.

When I observe how I obsess over and chase things and ideas for long periods in life only to discover later how stupid it was (over and over again) while when I was in chase It seemed quite justified to me...

Or Whenever through some random event or meditation I get very happy and present and realize how my attitude in life is stupid, how ego and thoughts are stupid etc. but only to re-engage the same routines 24 hours later...

these are just some examples that I can think of at the moment but there are countless things that make me think that This is a frking coma. even my insomnia is something that I'm feeding because of some deep seated fears which I'm quite blind to.

anyway, just stories, I don't think any of these matter now I've given up fixing the dream character for the moment and just want to focus on T/R.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2016, 03:45:19 am by alig »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #36 on: December 28, 2016, 01:12:37 am »
Best wishes.... now go focus.... further.

Love ya, Jed.

alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #37 on: December 28, 2016, 02:46:46 am »
Thanks yeah further...The problem is how to give up fully? Need to find out why I don't.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #38 on: December 28, 2016, 12:54:25 pm »
NO NO NO! Why is a stupid question... just do it or don't do it. Why is the mind seeking reasons, blame and judgments... all B.S.

Do or don't... just decide... or not. As the local tuk tuk drivers say, 'up to you'.

Love ya, Jed.

alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #39 on: January 21, 2017, 04:16:21 pm »
I'm stuck on the belief that the consciousness is a phenomena of the brain.  ??? :-\  at least its possible...

alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #40 on: January 23, 2017, 04:19:17 am »
I just did the shroom again, wondering why you emphasize that it should be avoided? is it because it makes me lazy? what are the downsides? I think it help push concepts and theories further down to cellular level, and also in getting unstuck when one is stuck somewhere.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #41 on: January 24, 2017, 01:48:34 am »
Stupid wondering, I explained that three posts back.

Love ya, Jed.

alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #42 on: January 24, 2017, 02:42:18 am »
True. I don't need anything but to remain with The I. but it's always running away to define itself, creating jed, shrooms etc..

Jed McKenna

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #43 on: January 26, 2017, 11:09:50 pm »
You are playing the drama queen game. Grow up.

Love ya, Jed

alig

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Re: Vippassana
« Reply #44 on: January 29, 2017, 05:48:12 am »
Ouch... I didn't mean to come across that way, but yeah I agree 100% that drama queen is one of the many roles that has its grip on me, but how do I grow up? Should I wake up first? ATM I'm working on growing my awareness on my separateness and how I create it.