Its more an observation and a possibility based on what I've experienced until now in myself and others as well, I think I can sum it up to not having a free will, but more in Human developmental level.
When I observe how I obsess over and chase things and ideas for long periods in life only to discover later how stupid it was (over and over again) while when I was in chase It seemed quite justified to me...
Or Whenever through some random event or meditation I get very happy and present and realize how my attitude in life is stupid, how ego and thoughts are stupid etc. but only to re-engage the same routines 24 hours later...
these are just some examples that I can think of at the moment but there are countless things that make me think that This is a frking coma. even my insomnia is something that I'm feeding because of some deep seated fears which I'm quite blind to.
anyway, just stories, I don't think any of these matter now I've given up fixing the dream character for the moment and just want to focus on T/R.
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