INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

How? I understand that consciousness is it. I understand it from a philosophical standpoint, from a neuroscientific perspective, and even from an occult point of view. So I know it, but can not experience it! I have had those moments of being one with everything, but then bam! Right back to everyday way-of-being. I personally do not hold anything to be true until I can experience it. Since these moments of oneness have been fleeting and not permanent, then I not sure if that is a real state of being. Hell, I can easily recreate those states by taking mushrooms or some other chemical, but I don't consider those experience to be real either.

If removing these importances are what is blocking me, then what technique would you advise? I have done the neti-neti, and realise that all mental constructs are just signs and symbols, and sense perceptions and just 2nd hand information being reconstructed by the brain and has no relation to what could be the real truth. Everything is made up! Everything is a illusion. I know that. But I still live within the illusion. It's like I know it is an illusion, but don't feel that it is an illusion. I'm wanting that visceral, feeling it to the depth of by being experience that will finally make it real.

Maybe Richard Rose was correct, and that after a certain age people are not able to reach true realisation. Now, that's a depressing thought. Being stuck in a prison, and releasing that it is a life sentence. If that is the case, then death would be welcomed. I will not live my life shackled and chained.

Now, I'm just getting pissed off. Just the thought of being stuck in this is not tolerable.

Thanks Jed for that. So maybe there is hope.
But the central question remains. HOW? !!!!

Should I induce a trauma?  My life right now is already a train-wreck. Maybe I should literally jump off a cliff. Hoping that the few monuments before impact I will reach what I'm wanting. I think that it would be worth it. Is that what it will take?

See, this is the kind of talking that worries people who know me. This is what scares them. They are afraid that I will do something drastic. But if doing something drastic is what it takes, then that is what it takes. The price of not doing anything, and staying within illusion is the slow death. Hell, it not even death, because there is not life. Only the illusion of life.

What really scares the S H I T out me is the life that I am living right now. That's the best answer I can give. Every fear that I have is coming into existence, and has for the last few years. And, I am trying my best to face the fears, and move through them.

It's exhausting, I have no sense of security. I fluctuate between anger and depression most of the time. When I have a slight break, then it seems to come on harder. I feel like I have no control, and when I try to take control, then everything just gets worse.

Yes, there is resistance. I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack right now. I want to have the anxiety attack, but when I say that then the urge goes away. Why?

I don't know that you can do. I don't think that there is anything that you can do.

A feeling comes up, my mind tells me it's an anxiety attack, then it says "this is what we are going to do about that." My mind says we can control these emotions. And that's a bunch of B U L L S H I T.

Dear Ant:

You are just confirmed that what I suggested reduces the negative emotions and yet, I don't think you realize the importance of it.

I think you are a drama queen and just enjoy the B.S. you are wallowing in. I know your not stupid, about some things, but you are an idiot about this.

Take a week off the forum and welcome everything that comes to you, all feelings be they good or bad. Then come back if you want. If you explode, who cares? If you die, who cares? If you s h i t yourself or puke, who cares? If you don't like what I say, who cares? If I have hit a nerve, who cares?

I'm not joking. I will delete any posts you make prior to one week from right now. Don't even bother to get back to me with and 'o.k.' just get your head out of your ass and do it.


Love ya, Jed.

All ego wants it attention, nothing less.

Love ya, Jed.