As too spiritual tradition, clearly I'd be the last person to notice it's effects on me. The perspective with the blind spot is not very good at spotting it. I grew up in a rather faithless household unless you count the Democratic political system and money as ideals for expression of faith. Be this as it may be, there were a couple religious holidays I remember being celebrated throughout my life. I'm sure it will not surprise you to hear that those holidays were Christmas and Easter. The irony is not lost on me here. Although, at the time, I did not know what I was really celebrating the association was made. Things involving Christ lead to gifts and candy. Hard to deny the potential for conditioning to take hold under these circumstances. Still, I back my play all the way home. There are many paths to full realization, Christ is the one which drew me in originally and then again coming back around after a long period of floating identification.
As to the mantras, this is simply how it manifested to me originally. That there were 2. I was lost in thought stories 99% of the time post initial surrender, awakening experience, holy instant, whatever, when I first broke through the circus running round my mind, albeit quite temporarily. It took a lot of years and a lot of methods and perspectives in order to unwind my mind. During this time it was as if there were 2 of me. The one I glimpsed on occasion through whatever perspective I was toying with, this one was at total peace, quiet mind, no story, then the one lost in thought stories the majority of the time, this one was becoming fully aware of the pain of being the subordinate to thoughts and their underlying beliefs. Seeing you are a slave to the mind really gets tricky once you realize you are the slave driver as well. Ouch. Lots of tough ones along the way.
The first 20 pages of your first book eloquently lays the whole thing out. First time I read it, couple years back, I couldn't yet verify all of it from my own experience but more than enough for it to ring true. I've been drawn irresistibly to many texts along the way. Few rang true like yours did. Just wanted to share some gratitude. 😉
So, to continue the conversation, I'd like to talk about option 2 that you mentioned. Staying there and experiencing this world in unusual ways. For sure that is the way I'm headed. I don't claim to understand or even bother with the why of it all but suffice to say, I'm good checking out and never fully checking back in. Ok, that sounds a little ominous but it's not meant that way nor felt that way. Its simply the direction I appear to be headed. Perhaps being in the world but not of the world is synamnomous with option 2. I don't know of course, how could I, but I should still like to chat about it for whatever time I have left if you're feeling inclined. I've quite purposely stopped doing anything to encourage the exit to start up again. Lack of faith? Doubt? Uncertainty? You bet. Sorting it all out, wondering how long I will keep this up.
I so appreciate the dialog. You were always on a short list of living beings I recognized as self realized and took seriously. Just FYI, Osho (I know he's no longer alive) and Bryon Katie shared the top 3 with you. Throw Adyshanti and Tolle in there at times. I'm actually surprised at how easy it is to talk with you. But, you know what they say about meeting your idols! Such a pleasure all around my friend.