Author Topic: What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed  (Read 334 times)

LivingTheDream-LTD

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What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed
« on: October 14, 2018, 10:53:39 pm »
In hoping you can help me Jed. I'm 39. I'm 6 yrs into this deal. First 2 were a nightmare, acting out what remained to be seeked externally. A real disaster. From the ashes of this disaster came 4 yrs of steady but assured progress, turning attention inward, letting go any desires besides my basic needs and helping to foster this experience best I could. I sampled it all during this time. Nothing was off limits in so far as it could help. Breaking out of the world of thought stories was huge. Quite mind followed. Now I've found a place in meditation that scares the hell out of me. It sneaks up on me and once it grabs hold I pull back and narrowly escape. Several times now ive danced this line. Like to go forward would be to completely dissolve from whatever this is, as if none of this, any of this, was ever real at all. Not just the dream which is not real but even the everything that's ever been. All of it. Even my concept of a loving creator. What lies beyond? What is the reality beyond the illusions? You appear to still be here. How is that possible? Does everyone who steps out have a choice or chance to come back? Or am I deluded which at this point would be welcome news. You've said one must be nuts to want T/R. So am I nuts cause I want it or am I nuts to believe I've found It? No need to be gentle, direct truth is good by me. Thank you my friend. 

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Jed McKenna

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Re: What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2018, 12:23:29 am »
Hi there and thank you for sharing your story. Let me put into words (feebly though they be) my experience in this adventure.

I know exactly what you are talking about and it is scary because it is a conscious form of dying, a form of suicide, or perhaps dreamercide. One time upon experiencing that blackness I just gave up. I through myself into it as best I could. Yes, there is nothing there but not the lack of anything kind of nothing. It's the realization that there never was anything... plus the realization that if the is any kind of God it is me, but not this me in the body. Everything that appears  to arise arises in me. BUT, they are all appearances as anything that comes will eventually go.

I realized that at that moment, which lasted anywhere from a nano-second to an infinity, I was given a choice. I felt like it was the only time I ever had true free will. Absolute freedom to just stay there and exist as God, or to return and live our this human dream.

Those who choose to stay there experience this world of humanness in ways that can be very strange. Those that choose to ''come back'' to the dream realize the ordinariness that is quite unusual and most, at least the smart ones, just shut up.

Here is an example of some who have experienced some challenges in integrating their experience. However, keep in mind, this is only my experiences and sharings. Your's may be completely different as Truth has infinite facets.

Love ya, Jed.




LivingTheDream-LTD

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Re: What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2018, 09:52:09 am »
First off allow me to express my deep gratitude for the way in which you make your self available. So far as I know you're the only one like you available to the masses, world wide, seemingly 24/7. Historically this seems significant. Alright, ass kissing aside....

What I want is to follow Jesus home. Home as he describes it via ACIM. He was my first, and eventually my last ie current, guide. I never followed a living guide yet I've explored everything available using whatever teachers were available. The thought system presented by Christ, which can be glimpsed through his parables, has been a better guide in undoing myself than any other single source. This and an almost constant internal mantra "less of me more of you, soften my heart and change my mind". Complete willingness to step down.

So there is the enlightenment I generally identified with, ie the universe that wakes up to itself, the one where I'm God and that's that and then there is the enlightenment Christ speaks of in which we return to our rightful place as co creator with that which created us. The us that creates and indulges in this dream of separation and lack. A dream to foreign and false to be shared with our creator in anyway.

So I want not to identify as and wake up as this universe, God, etc. I want to wake up in my rightful home. Without a creator, in who's eyes is our perfection made real and eternally garunteed? I fear that following through as we have been discussing may be a trap. Like the final fireworks show this universe has to offer in order to keep us identified as God.

I can not thank you enough for this dialogue. As you seem to understand well, that this is downright terrifying at times.

LivingTheDream-LTD

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Re: What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2018, 10:45:42 am »
Also, as to the film, yikes. People get down with it in all sorts of ways. I'm thankful I'm waking up in the West with zero spiritual tradition, ritual, or collectively enforced beliefs.

Jed McKenna

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Re: What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2018, 11:15:48 pm »
Hi there:

Thank you for your kind words. The West has many collectively enforce beliefs. The challenge is that from inside those western beliefs they appear to be transparent, invisible because they are everywhere. The west doesn't have a monopoly on spiritual b.s., but it has more than enough.

Regarding ACIM and your pursuits, it's not a path that I was/am drawn to... but that's just my way of being. I can tell you that if I was drawn to it I would pursue the works of William Blake. IMHO, he was fully self realized in a kind of Christian Mystic way. His poetry is amazing.

Regarding your mantra: "less of me more of you, soften my heart and change my mind" I wouldn't invest energy in changing something that is only a temporary construct and more a concept that a thing. Mind is not the solution, it is the problem. Regarding less of me and more of you, there is no two in Truth, only One. If you are serious (obviously you are) then just ask yourself in every moment ''What would Christ do?'' this way you will be completely free of any burden of being a human. Just do what Christ would do and you already know in your heart what he would do at every turn. Don't pretend you don't know.... after all you are Him.

Love ya, Jed.

LivingTheDream-LTD

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Re: What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2018, 07:27:09 am »
As too spiritual tradition, clearly I'd be the last person to notice it's effects on me. The perspective with the blind spot is not very good at spotting it. I grew up in a rather faithless household unless you count the Democratic political system and money as ideals for expression of faith. Be this as it may be, there were a couple religious holidays I remember being celebrated throughout my life. I'm sure it will not surprise you to hear that those holidays were Christmas and Easter. The irony is not lost on me here. Although, at the time, I did not know what I was really celebrating the association was made. Things involving Christ lead to gifts and candy. Hard to deny the potential for conditioning to take hold under these circumstances. Still, I back my play all the way home. There are many paths to full realization, Christ is the one which drew me in originally and then again coming back around after a long period of floating identification.

As to the mantras, this is simply how it manifested to me originally. That there were 2. I was lost in thought stories 99% of the time post initial surrender, awakening experience, holy instant, whatever, when I first broke through the circus running round my mind, albeit quite temporarily. It took a lot of years and a lot of methods and perspectives in order to unwind my mind. During this time it was as if there were 2 of me. The one I glimpsed on occasion through whatever perspective I was toying with, this one was at total peace, quiet mind, no story, then the one lost in thought stories the majority of the time, this one was becoming fully aware of the pain of being the subordinate to thoughts and their underlying beliefs. Seeing you are a slave to the mind really gets tricky once you realize you are the slave driver as well. Ouch. Lots of tough ones along the way.

The first 20 pages of your first book eloquently lays the whole thing out. First time I read it, couple years back, I couldn't yet verify all of it from my own experience but more than enough for it to ring true. I've been drawn irresistibly to many texts along the way. Few rang true like yours did. Just wanted to share some gratitude. 😉

So, to continue the conversation, I'd like to talk about option 2 that you mentioned. Staying there and experiencing this world in unusual ways. For sure that is the way I'm headed. I don't claim to understand or even bother with the why of it all but suffice to say, I'm good checking out and never fully checking back in. Ok, that sounds a little ominous but it's not meant that way nor felt that way. Its simply the direction I appear to be headed. Perhaps being in the world but not of the world is synamnomous with option 2. I don't know of course, how could I, but I should still like to chat about it for whatever time I have left if you're feeling inclined. I've quite purposely stopped doing anything to encourage the exit to start up again. Lack of faith? Doubt? Uncertainty? You bet. Sorting it all out, wondering how long I will keep this up.

I so appreciate the dialog. You were always on a short list of living beings I recognized as self realized and took seriously. Just FYI, Osho (I know he's no longer alive) and Bryon Katie shared the top 3 with you. Throw Adyshanti and Tolle in there at times. I'm actually surprised at how easy it is to talk with you. But, you know what they say about meeting your idols! Such a pleasure all around my friend.

Jed McKenna

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Re: What in the hell have I seemingly unleashed
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2018, 08:39:26 am »
Hi there LTD:

Thanks for sharing those words and experiences. You sound pretty wise to me, and also quite free of the detritus that accumulates with the human dream.

I have joined with some pretty wealthy backers in securing a series of condo-caves in the foothills of the Himalayas. We also have the backing of an NGO in India call STS, (Save the Saved). It's sort of a Christians Anonymous thing. I keep telling them there is no one to save, but they insist on doing it and offered me the primo ground floor cave, complete with mini-gym and sauna... I mean, what's a guy to do. Sometimes it's hard to say no to East Indians. Now I gotta stop saying 'Love ya' so,

Namaste, Jed.

Ohh... I like the feeling of that. S and G. but I don't like the fact that they insist I can't play my guitar and sing Dylan songs anymore. Maybe I'll pass on the deal. Play the destroyer (Shiva) with their dreams. We shall see.

BTW, you don't really need my assistance. You know the answer to every question because it's always the same answer. BUT, write me any time.