Hi GHB:
Thank you for your post and questions. I think using Nisagardatta's approach might be best for you.
Contemplate the sense of ''I am''. You appear to exist, but how do you know what? What brings you to the conclusion that you are. Its the little ''I am'' which started to develop at about two years of age. Up until then, you saw everything as ''you''... but with the advent of language and people naming you and everything else... separation began.
Contemplate what you were a week before conception. Don't expect a miracle to happen in the first hour of contemplation. Find you ''I am'' and track it back. The way out is the way you came int. It took Nis about three years.
Patience is called for.
Love ya, Jed.