I would say I only care about money to the extent that I can give it to my children. I had to explore whether that was because I wanted them to think I'm the best or something, and that was always my motivation in the past but I'm letting go more and more now. Now I just want to make their dream as pleasing as possible. I have the notion that even when they are grown-up, I will continue to work and give any money I have to them after my basic needs are met since I don't need it anymore for anything else. Money doesn't buy happiness in or out of the dream but they'll have to figure that out for themselves. Maybe happiness can only be had by making others happy and that's why I thought of that, how selfish of me.
If I do the Series it will be hard for me to spend that kind of money on myself but my motivation is that I could hardly guide my own children without actually knowing what is really going on. My other motivation is more selfish and that is that I would like to AVOID ever being reborn into this ignorant state ever again.
It occurred to me yesterday that I have very few memories from my own childhood, even my whole life, so much of what happens on a day to day basis is just completely wiped out. In a few months, I won't remember the contents of this very email. Well, I was thinking about how vaguely unimportant almost everything really is.
Is anything important? Important to who? Maybe that's just it.