Author Topic: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...  (Read 4531 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2017, 02:08:59 am »
I would say it's quite possible, but not for you.

Never done it myself and am not the least bit interested in it. I have created a mystical, magical, wondrous universe. Triviality don't grab my attention.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2017, 06:52:54 am »
The idols of our society are people like Cristiano Ronaldo and Ariana Grande; that's what our youth aspires to become like;

We are born to rot in an office 40h/week for most part of our lives - indeed, the BEST years of our lives; and that's if you are lucky to not be a starving homeless;

Our worth in this society is measured by how much we have, PERIOD;

Annd we can barely trust anyone, really...


To see all of this as a wondorous, mystical experience is just beyond the imaginative capabilities of my mind.

I also think money is trivial, but the magic of this world has been dead since long(if it even did exist); money is all that's left on this dry, dead, wasteland.

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2017, 07:16:14 am »
Thank you for sharing an interesting perspective. Much of what you express is concurrent with my experiences...

Yes, my perspective is beyond the ''imaginative capabilities of the mind'' and THAT is my whole purpose and point. Give up mind, give up imagination... and just be with what appears... and all the time, be aware that it's all an amazing dream.. nothing more or less.

From one perspective, that is madness, but from another, it's the only kind of sanity that exists. The choice is (perhaps) yours.

Don't give up, your persistence will be rewarded some day.

Love ya, Jed.


Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2018, 01:23:21 pm »
I've been meditating for at least 1 hour/day for the past 17 days, sometimes, I would apply that "die for your desires and fears" technique, trying to let go of everything, to the point I could barely even feel my phisical body, let alone hold any mental view of the world... It was all of no use; the only difference is that I'm a little calmer and overall happier, but it's still of no use all I have done. Today I just considered going for the easiest way towards freedom, i.e, physical suicide, the ultimate samadhi of nothingness; because it looks like that by the use of mental techniques I just can't escape this world of suffering... So unfair, life is: Not only you come here to suffer, but also there's the survival instict that won't let you just end things. I wish I was not such a ****.

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #19 on: January 01, 2018, 11:28:27 pm »
Thanks for sharing. What you see is that which is seeking. You might have been given a body to realize that. Do you really know what comes after you take you own life? Maybe it's more misery than you are experiencing right now. Worth the risk... hmmm... doubt it.

What are you holding on to that is causing you such grief. Really, name it, claim it, own it and let me know. Perhaps I can assist.

Love ya, Jed.

P.S. Perhaps I can't and it's all up to you.

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #20 on: January 02, 2018, 04:26:35 pm »
I'm still meditating, doing self-inquiry and that practice of dying... If there's something I can't lose is the momentum born from practice that I've built up to now.

Regarding what you said: my entire life I felt like something is missing, I don't know what, though. THAT thing may be what is holding me on. Better yet: that thing makes my mind hold on into it.

  • Maybe that thing is a relationship; for this is why I've been working so hard into improving myself;
  • Maybe that thing is money[hedonistic lifestyle]; that's why I desire it so much and make plans to get it;
  • Maybe that thing doesn't even exist on this world; this is why I've been meditating so much lately - Because it may give me access to other planes;
  • Maybe that thing exists after death; this is why I consider suicide;
  • Maybe the feeling that something is missing in your life goes away when you become aware that life is a dream; this is why I'm even on this busineses of enlightenment;
  • Maybe the act of feeling that something is missing in your own life is insanity; this is why I seek sanity - So that I can see the truth of my silly way of thinking and move on with life;
  • Maybe the act of feeling that something is missing in your own life doesn't categorize insanity; thus, bound to be sane and unable to dismiss that feeling as insanity and moving on with life, while not being able become free of that feeling throught other means, suicide and the idea of non-existence(no existence = no suffering) becomes seducing
  • Maybe the act of feeling that something is missing in your own life is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain; This is why I consider taking medication one day if all else fails.

And the list goes...

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2018, 10:38:20 pm »
Thanks for sharing... your ''list''.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2018, 03:26:38 pm »
Actually, the sense that something is missing is essential to this human game. If a chess player didn't have the desire to see the opponent's king dead, then why would he make a move? This world was created to be a battleground; this world is fertile soil for evil and sadness - It's meant to be so.

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2018, 08:23:17 pm »
Now upping daily meditation time to 2 hours, btw.

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2018, 09:19:58 pm »
You body is in a constant state of battle between cells and colonies, etc. Started at birth. No wonder humans like wars.

Love ya, Jed

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2018, 06:48:50 am »
I'm starting to experience feelings that I haven't felt in some years. Those are feelings that have been buried by years and years of depression, feelings that I even forgot they could exist. Those feelings don't cause me to become blissful... they just have a good taste.

Anyways, this kind of thing would be incomprehensible to my past self of a week ago; there are probrably many, many others mental states that if someone described one of them to me, I would also think of it as an absurd impossibility.

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2018, 08:14:04 am »
Remember, go right through the middle of all feelings.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2018, 07:32:35 pm »
Exercises, yoga, meditation every single day and now nofap... It's all starting to pay off: depression is starting to go away; panic has decreased; less afraid of people; starting to get motivated to do things; some time ago I suffered from brain fog and now my brain feels like a perfect unclogged pump of  refined vital energy.

The thing that bother me the most is how much time I wasted. Did I gain something from 5 years of depression? Was all of it pure wasted time?

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2018, 01:37:02 am »
I can't tell you if it was all a waste of hands, but reflecting back on it certain is a waste of time.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2018, 12:08:01 pm »
Had a brief charge of love during medtation; so good, it feels like winning at life; it feels like being being loved back by the girl you have a crush on. Went to sleep blissfully after that and dreamed of meeting Nisargadatta Maharaj(I don't remember what he said though). Anyways, love is distracting: What matters is to mantain a unified mind during the sitting and be aware of the actions of the skandhas.

There's no need for posting here anymore; I've received enough pointing already...