Author Topic: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...  (Read 6034 times)

Escapist

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #75 on: February 22, 2018, 12:03:16 am »
Let me rant a little bit here - Do not even bother reading this, unless if for entertainment; otherwise go read another post from a more serious member

All concepts/beliefs are incredible pollutions; when I abandon all of them and stay only with the "I am" feeling - Accepting no word from any kind of authority on any matter as a fact - a primal state is reached, the basis of existence. Everyone has this, if other people even exist. I believe that full, uncorrupted conection with this feeling may lead a person to omnipotence on the physical world.

I know that any sage worth his salt, like Nis and Ramana, would just say something like "Why do you desire powers(siddhis)? Those are infantile, ego driven persuits" and I would reply "The 'I am' feeling inside of me makes no distinction between anything. What's the basic difference between punching a random stranger and adopting a starving child in Africa? I see no difference.", then they would probably laugh and agree with me.

Now that I am not affected by anything anymore and see no problem anywhere, seeing the world as nothing more than a place for growth and mindless fun, and people as nothing more than objects, what's the use of compassion? In truth, compassion/feeling bad for others is nothing more than just another egotistical self preserving program running in people's heads; "Look, a homeless person, poor guy... let me help him(subconscious thought: I would hate to be in his place, I will help him, this way I can become free of the fear of being in his place)

I have been using almost my entire free time doing self inquiry/meditation for 2 months already and, like UG says, I'm still a monster full of desires and only focused on things that bring me benefit. If anything, all the sadhana I did only made me more of a sociopath than before - Even more so, now that I am beyond pain and am not afraid of any kind of retribution.  I throb with excitement by thinking of all the tricks I would be able to play in people if I had those siddhis. I am pretty sure there's a higher god that manages this universe and he's pretty opposed to anyone displaying siddhis to the ignorant masses, because this would free them and change the courses of their lives. One time there was a 80 year old yogi that looked to be in his 20's(I don't remember his name), then out of nowhere bandits came and cut his head for no reason... why did this happen? Obviously because that he was risking ruining god's Lila.

Even the persuit for H/A is mostly based on the urge of feeling superior to the "less developed" ego driven "children" folk, and in the urge of belonging to a group. In truth, there's nothing to this world but to enjoy sense pleasures, and if said sense pleasure has a selfish basis to it, then so be it it, no difference. Once I thought "Now I am a human adult", but now there's no one to think this.

If people only realized how close to them the destruction of their lives is, they would be terrified. All it takes is for a person to face one or 2 deep rooted fears head on... then, my friend, it all blows the **** up. Sometimes I really doubt other people are even conscious, to me they all look like video game NPCs... I mean, sometimes I may look at 50 or 60 year old people and ask myself how the **** did they manage to stay that way for so much "time", how did they manage to stay so much time without questioning the fact that they EXIST, and the incredible mindfuck that it is.

Somewhere along the road I felt like my body was about to explode, sometimes I would see landscapes or purple lights, sometimes I would feel extasis, sometimes I felt like my body had become full of bliss, sometimes I would feel deep, all pervading happiness, but it was all passing phenomena, and to the neutral state is to where I return. "Where will this "I am-ness" go after the body perishes?" That is the true question.

Growth is the pourpose ~ the fun of it. The average human being can't even form the image of an apple in his mind perfectly, and yet, God can store the entire universe into His mind. WE ARE WORMS.

Jed McKenna

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Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Reply #76 on: February 24, 2018, 09:05:03 am »
Consider your post unread.

Cheers.

Escapist

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Honest question now: does impermanence bother you? Is your Self permanent or does it come and go whenever you turn your attention away from it?

Jed McKenna

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Every story is impermanent by it's nature of being a story. But they all occur in the infinite context of Truth and it always is. Is there a self? Perhaps only for descriptive purposes, but Truth (you True Nature) ALL. Of course it's always there. This human body and mind can kind of settle into it more or less, but those are inadequate words.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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So, I have been pondering over this question for some time already and I didin't seem to find an answer... I would like to see your input on it:

Imagine a person is sitting on a couch and then decides to get up and drink water: When sitting on the couch, that person had all sensations(tactile, emotional, mental etc) related to sitting on a couch; when waking up from the couch and walking, new sensations started to occur and all of those previous sesations of sitting on a couch disappeared, perharps leaving traces that would soon vanish; when drinking water, the same thing.  Is the person that was sitting in the couch the same one that was walking and drinking the water?


Jed McKenna

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There is no such things as a person, it's just a collection of memories and experiences. I guess you could say that it's not the same person from one second to the next because there is always new thoughts and memories being generated... but all that doesn't mean a person is real. Quite the opposite.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Nisargadatta said that his state(not his realization) was one of natural, deep blue samadhi where one can see millions of planets - The grace of the Sat Guru

Do you experience such thing?

Jed McKenna

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I have experienced many strange and wonderful things that one might call ''high weirdness'' but I learned a long time ago, from some old East Indian teacher, that such things were traps and best be ignore. When they arose I did my best to just thank them and move on. Not easy at times, but I had a sense that none of them where what I was seeking, i.e. full blown, total, limitless Truth Realization.

I suggest that any ''high weirdness'' that you experience is gently put aside and you return your focus to your one and only task, realizing that the infinite context of Truth is, and nothing else will suffice.

Don't be distracted by candy in the window, you want to make to the back of the shop for the real goodies.

Love ya, Jed


Escapist

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I have been doing this damn 'I am' contemplation for months already, during various hours each day and haven't had much progress... My personality is still the same and the practice of the technique still consists of lying in bed, feeling all the misery that's located where the I am is supposed to exist and asking "To whom does this appear?" to whatever may arise.

The good experiences I had were so sweet while they lasted, but then they would go away and leave me in a state of utter misery. Sometimes I would think I had matured and actually progressed, but then I would go to sleep and go back to be what I was before

Also, my deep rooted desires still haunt me 24/7, even in dreams. The desire for women... Its insane this thing; I was pretty clear that I was giving up this entire business and die without ever touching one of the opposite sex, but **** it, it's like nature consciousness is torturing me, forcing me to find a mate. I always asked myself why people liked so much to have babies; now I know the answer... It's this force, and other people are unaware of it because they go with the flow, while I resist it. I'll do as the sage said, then:

 Weak desires can be removed by introspection and meditation, but strong,
deep-rooted ones must be fulfilled and their fruits, sweet or bitter, tasted. - Nisargadatta

Jed McKenna

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Got it....

Cheers.

Escapist

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Was UG Krishnamurti T/R, in your opinion?

Escapist

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I downloaded that book you sometimes talk about, "Finite and Infinite games", to see if it was any good... I just read some parts without putting much effort in trying to understand perfectly what the author was trying to convey there, but from what I could gather, he's saying the pourpose of life is to slave for your title(name) so that you can leave a "mark" in this illusory world of maya. He also said that it didn't matter if his soul was immortal since his soul is of much importance to his self view as his appendix is, and also said that a person only becomes a boddhisattva or a religious man with the intention of becoming "immortal" here, that is, immortalizing everything that is false, ie, how he thinks other people view him as a person, his ideas about himself, likes and dislikes...

Is that correct or did I misinterpret him?
« Last Edit: April 06, 2018, 12:52:04 pm by Escapist »

Jed McKenna

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If I showed you a square inch of a famous painting and said, ''So, what do you think?", would I get a well rounded opinion? Not likely. Don't judge a book by it's cover or only via reading a few pages. Go back and take it seriously.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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OK, I will do it.... Now the mind is happy because it has work to do

Jed McKenna

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Good!