Author Topic: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...  (Read 4518 times)

Escapist

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Tired of being alone in my room, I went to the church near my house in search for enterteinment, socialization, fulfillment, hope, mental health, etc... I was surprised when the priest there said: "Deus é. Quando você se livra do Eu, do ego, você pode saber disso" (God is. When you get rid of the I, of the ego, you can know this)

Very interesting occurrence I would say, it's just what you say about Truth! Never thought I would find this kind of wisdom near to where I live...

Perharps that guy was himself T/R? Perharps...

Perharps he just parroting something he read or another person told him? Perharps...


Jed McKenna

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Maybe, maybe not... who knows and who cares. You have to go there yourself.... i.e., put in the work.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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SERIOUS QUESTION NOW!!! (not whining)

Does misery ever stop? I have been growind wiser and wiser recently after having hammered into my head the fact that I don't have much choice. The mind is quieter and part of the misery is gone(it doesn't torture me anymore, but is still in the background), but the mind misses the misery and it feels peaceful and boring, not the restless kind of boring though. The mind rebels against the peace, afraid it's likes and dislikes will go away and that I will become some kind of simpleton, living shitty ordinary life, etc...

Will misery reach it's end if I deepen into this peace? Are you free from misery?

Jed McKenna

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Yes, in my experience there is an end to misery... but a little more on what misery is would help.

Misery and suffering are resistance to what is. Humans do that by the desire/want mechanism. Buddha said words to the effect that desire is suffering.

Wanting anything in particular hides what is happening in general... i.e., nothing. When you realize that, who is there to experience misery regarding what?

Love ya, Je

P.S. You are on the right track... stick with it.

Escapist

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Your words filled me with courage to continue, thanks

You mentioning the Buddha made me remember this poem... It's very beautiful:


If one, longing for sensual pleasure,
   achieves it, yes,
he's enraptured at heart.
The mortal gets what he wants.
But if for that person
   — longing, desiring —
the pleasures diminish,
   he's shattered,
as if shot with an arrow.

Whoever avoids sensual desires
— as he would, with his foot,
the head of a snake —
goes beyond, mindful,
this attachment in the world.

A man who is greedy
   for fields, land, gold,
   cattle, horses,
   servants, employees,
   women, relatives,
   many sensual pleasures,
is overpowered with weakness
and trampled by trouble,
for pain invades him
as water, a **** boat.

So one, always mindful,
should avoid sensual desires.
   Letting them go,
he'd cross over the flood
like one who, having bailed out the boat,
   has reached the far shore.

Jed McKenna

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Thanks for sharing that. Now focus on further.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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No, there will be no more further for me for the next months... i.e I already brought the antidepressants

I can barely even manage to do my job with all this psychological suffering tormenting me; If I'm fired I will have to live in the streets and winter is soon comming here in the south hemisphere...

No drama... I'll become a drug, no progress will be made and will try to refrain from posting here

When I manage to save enough money I'll travel to India, become a sannyasi and learn yoga direcly from the great masters. I'm not smart enough to go through the path of Jnana by myself and a lot of damage has been done to me due to my recklessness. It might seem like bullshit, but I fell into "mara realms" and am still traumatized because of that... The horror still follows me

I'm revealing private stuff here in a public forum for a lot of people to see, judge and laugh... who cares as long as I can't see it

Jed McKenna

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I wish you the best on your journey.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Wow, I'm free from misery... All it took me was to take that pill just once(the anti psychotic effect is instantaneous)

I even had an amazing, very realistical dream where the sky was full of very very dark clouds, with demonic faces in them, when suddenly the clouds disappeared in a flash, and the most divine sky I've ever seen, full of orange, beautiful, divine clouds appeared. Totally out of this world, just amazing, beautiful...

Whatever the heck mental health is, it's not something as fleeting and phenomenal as thoughts, emotions and "states" are. I have been analizing this "no thing" called mental health today and the only thing I can say is that mental health has a "taste", but is impossible to be grasped by the mind due to it's subtleness; this also means that it's impossible to be grasped by words and can't be contained in books

I have huge respect for you, BK, Ramana, Nisargadatta, etc... But this rock hard mental health no amount of atma vicharia, meditation, the work, or autolysis gave me

That's it... Thanks for wasting your time reading and answering the posts of this insane person(me)... It was very helpful and therapeutical to write whatever I wanted to here without being banned

Very, very nice... Now I can rest

Jed McKenna

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If the meds work, then they work and I am certainly pleased you have found some relief. Please be very careful with you doses and follow medical recommendations.

I wish you the best on your journey.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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So, it looks like the medication didn't clog my cognitive and intuitive proccess - In fact, I would say they're functioning better than before, as my brain isn't tormenting me anymore. I didn't become some kind of drug zombie so I think progress can still be made. If you have any objection against me posting here in this state then just tell me and I'll stop

So, about the last days...

I've been doing atma vicharia, meditation and anapanasati... Am now able to see very, very subtle thoughts that I had no access to before; the thoughts behind the thoughts behind the thoughts...



Everything happens in our "heads" (got this at a gut level)
Whatever we see in our minds is dumped there by an external force... thoughts are always flowing from some source
The mind pervades the entire world, or better yet, the universe

Yesterday, while doing atma vicharia I was able to hear the crystal like sound the universe makes and saw some kind of boundless force, full of wisdom(perharps it was the sat-chit-ananda they talk about). After seeing it, I thought: "This force is real, it is good and better than anything in this world... If I continue my training I may be able to merge with it. Nibbana, moksha, is real; there's an end to the insanity that is being a human".

Omg, this post is getting long

Anyways, continuing...

I've been having this same kind of dream for the last days... Dreams where I'm alone trying to be better than everyone while everyone else is having fun with each other. I become so jealous and miserable. This has been my curse my entire life

Always being the better student, but the teacher always liked the talkative and simple minded students more
Always being better at everything, but lonely and friendless

I broke down into very deep, suicidal depression when, after competing against 170 persons in my city in a test for a job, I managed to score 2nd place with barely any studying at all, and even still, I was still miserable and jealous, super duper jealous, ultra jealous of normal people and the happiness they have in their relationships. Tried suicide 5 times already since then, but obviously I never suceedeed and the last time I tried, something very weird happened that made me think some external invisible force wants me alive... Why? How the hell could I know... My only choice now is to deal with this complex myself in this very life



May I attain liberation in this very life and never enter female womb ever again as a poor ignorant sod

Jed McKenna

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Take care of yourself... remember, you ideas about your self are all made up b.s. Not fun maybe, but not real.

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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that's it...

this "I", me, story ends now

FINISHEEEEEEEEEEEDD

Jed McKenna

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Great... now one question, who ended it?

Love ya, Jed.

Escapist

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Lol, I'm so silly

anyways... I just realized that I fooled myself into thinking that thoughts happen inside my head just because a head pressure/sensation follows thought -- But it's not so. I mean, I really saw this, I didn't just reach it intellectually

just wanted to share this for the sake of sharing