INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

Let me rant a little bit here - Do not even bother reading this, unless if for entertainment; otherwise go read another post from a more serious member

All concepts/beliefs are incredible pollutions; when I abandon all of them and stay only with the "I am" feeling - Accepting no word from any kind of authority on any matter as a fact - a primal state is reached, the basis of existence. Everyone has this, if other people even exist. I believe that full, uncorrupted conection with this feeling may lead a person to omnipotence on the physical world.

I know that any sage worth his salt, like Nis and Ramana, would just say something like "Why do you desire powers(siddhis)? Those are infantile, ego driven persuits" and I would reply "The 'I am' feeling inside of me makes no distinction between anything. What's the basic difference between punching a random stranger and adopting a starving child in Africa? I see no difference.", then they would probably laugh and agree with me.

Now that I am not affected by anything anymore and see no problem anywhere, seeing the world as nothing more than a place for growth and mindless fun, and people as nothing more than objects, what's the use of compassion? In truth, compassion/feeling bad for others is nothing more than just another egotistical self preserving program running in people's heads; "Look, a homeless person, poor guy... let me help him(subconscious thought: I would hate to be in his place, I will help him, this way I can become free of the fear of being in his place)

I have been using almost my entire free time doing self inquiry/meditation for 2 months already and, like UG says, I'm still a monster full of desires and only focused on things that bring me benefit. If anything, all the sadhana I did only made me more of a sociopath than before - Even more so, now that I am beyond pain and am not afraid of any kind of retribution.  I throb with excitement by thinking of all the tricks I would be able to play in people if I had those siddhis. I am pretty sure there's a higher god that manages this universe and he's pretty opposed to anyone displaying siddhis to the ignorant masses, because this would free them and change the courses of their lives. One time there was a 80 year old yogi that looked to be in his 20's(I don't remember his name), then out of nowhere bandits came and cut his head for no reason... why did this happen? Obviously because that he was risking ruining god's Lila.

Even the persuit for H/A is mostly based on the urge of feeling superior to the "less developed" ego driven "children" folk, and in the urge of belonging to a group. In truth, there's nothing to this world but to enjoy sense pleasures, and if said sense pleasure has a selfish basis to it, then so be it it, no difference. Once I thought "Now I am a human adult", but now there's no one to think this.

If people only realized how close to them the destruction of their lives is, they would be terrified. All it takes is for a person to face one or 2 deep rooted fears head on... then, my friend, it all blows the **** up. Sometimes I really doubt other people are even conscious, to me they all look like video game NPCs... I mean, sometimes I may look at 50 or 60 year old people and ask myself how the **** did they manage to stay that way for so much "time", how did they manage to stay so much time without questioning the fact that they EXIST, and the incredible mindfuck that it is.

Somewhere along the road I felt like my body was about to explode, sometimes I would see landscapes or purple lights, sometimes I would feel extasis, sometimes I felt like my body had become full of bliss, sometimes I would feel deep, all pervading happiness, but it was all passing phenomena, and to the neutral state is to where I return. "Where will this "I am-ness" go after the body perishes?" That is the true question.

Growth is the pourpose ~ the fun of it. The average human being can't even form the image of an apple in his mind perfectly, and yet, God can store the entire universe into His mind. WE ARE WORMS.