INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

Hi Jed, thanks for the books, and being available.  If you are open I would like to ask about an experience involving spontaneous revulsion/surrender of manifestation.  It has pretty much ruined everything, haha.


Thanks kindly! 

I couldn't do it Jed, one experience seems to be two linked together, sort of.  Like what I wanted to talk about has context because of the other experience.  I weighed in around 350 ish words, so I'll email it, and honestly I feel a little queasy filling heads on here with crazyass mystic land.  Anyhow I don't have much to say normally, so I don't forsee any other essays, if you can take it.  What I wrote seems quite concise, to me, in a blow-by-blow way, and interesting if you like things that seem totally bananas, but if it is too much reading I can split em up, or cut out the first person feel and point form it.  If I am not totally bonkers (which I am, but not about this, maybe) it should be obvious anyway, but I went with descriptive specific, in shitty prose, so there are more words.  Well if I was describing a cartoon it might be good prose.   

thanks,

Waldo

aha, got an answer stacking wood.  There was never a chance to alter the content of the senses, and never a personal volition that occurred that was controllable, just a viewpoint of stuff happening, either closely personal, up to so far away as to be completely removed, and all of it happens exactly as it is, no mitigation allowed, including where the view is from.  ei. I can watch the wood get stacked and see intelligence and decision making, but that's all, just get to watch, and that noticing is a part of the same process.  From stacking wood all the way to seemingly wacked out heavy mystical states and realizations.  ****.
  Therefore, may as well say it is in a process of return, because a mind will be a cannonball to truth, or monkey around, if that is what it does, and it is still just a process to watch...a weirdo sentient holodeck that has no control, even about shutting itself off, but can only watch the program run it's course!?  Well that's sort of more horrible, but seems pretty straight forward, just let the process go and relax, let gravity do it's thing?

The whole of being seems so stupid, far out!

Waldo

oops this was about 200 words, so probably the email is more than claimed.  It's not too horrible though, I've seen posts that were longer and pretty boring, and you made it through em (that's encouragement!).    Got tired of counting and guessed, sorry.  Didn't win the jellybean jar once. 

Hi Jed, being looks alot like a verb now...

I can't delineate subject/object in the relationship very easily anymore.  It seems like there was just the idea of a boundary, almost like an arbitrary choice, or maybe habitual is a better word.  Like awareness hooked up with the senses in the same way, ie. 'normal' waking state,  to create an illusion of continuity, but it's not very continuous now.  eeeee, there is a question, but it's not coming out.   

Maybe it is....do I have anything to do with this perceiving activity?  Do I have to have anything to do with it? 

It looks like a prison more than a funhouse.  shoot, that is all mixed up with desire to be in a different way.  Maybe what I'm asking is, can the show go on, but with 'me' abiding in a different vantage point, a theoretically stable one, where all the movement of the senses happens, but I don't move?  Nisargadatta seemed to say that was his state, but someone describing a direct experience is tricky.
 
 See,  a stable state keeps coming around, no longer crammed up in the senses, but more all-encompassing, where all the change in the senses keeps happening but there is internal stability.  Haha then it changes, so stable but not stable.  Is the desire for this state ok?  Not to repeat it, as it just keeps coming up, but to let go into it?       

I hallucinate that you have helped you...

Love ya, Jed.

Don't worry about that, in fact, don't worry about anything.

Love ya, Jed

Everyone doesn't expect meaningful answers... they want only one thing... to be love/recognized/get attention... that's three... but you get the gist.

Just watch. You don't have to answer anything.. when someone says ''Hi, how are you today'' the don't give a darn about you, they are asking you to ask them ''how are you doing today''. You can see this in pretty much every conversation.

Love ya, Jed.

Yes is does Joel... 

Love ya, Jed.