Author Topic: Who am I ?  (Read 3214 times)

Marina

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Who am I ?
« on: May 02, 2017, 05:10:37 am »
Who am I ?
I asked myself this question at 5 years old.
I don't know why, but inside myself I knew that my parents can't answer. So I didn't ask them about it.
I also knew that my parents are not my parents, and I'm not a girl named Marina. We play the game.
Then Who am I? I looked in the mirror, looked at my hands and asked myself. I began to feel the wave inside me. I didn't know, What it is? I was scared and began to cry.
For many years I practiced at various religions, esoteric systems and other traditions. Oh, I had mystical experiences! It was so real. :) But at my almost 50 years old, I still haven't answered my question.
Then I found your books, Jed. Or they found me. :) At long last !
( I hope you understand, why I feel grateful whenever I write to you.
I've been coming here for a long time.)
So, a lot of illusions were thrown into the fire, including my mystical pictures. And this process is not over yet.

Now about my cement. You gave me two good formulas:
“How does it feel to be … (my trouble)…?” and
“Can you make it worse, can you make yourself the most … (my trouble)… person in existence.”
I done it.
...The most stuck person... It was very painful.
I stayed at home for several days. I could not do anything. I was lying on the couch, watching my breathing and thoughts. I sank to the bottom.
Unexpectedly, I found that my hit "I am a dead man among people" changed to another hit "Nothing matters. Then why should I do something?”
Oh, my mind wants drama! This is the first.
In what way (any trouble or something else) it does this, just the second question.
My mind sells me drama. OK!
But why do I buy it?
This is the main question.

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Jed McKenna

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2017, 08:31:18 am »
Hi Marina:

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing,  BUT, and this is a big BUT, your questions is quite pointless, as are all ''why'' questions. There are only two ''truthish'' answers to ''why'': a.) it seemed like a good  idea at the time, and b.) because.

Asking why is a total, and I mean TOTAL waste of time. It is almost always aimed at pointing out some type of blame, and blame is made up, hence the answer to ''why'' is also made up.

You aren't a dead man, in reality, you are not a man and the real you was never born and thus will never die. Suck it up princess.

Love ya, Jed.

P.S. Cut the drama, you just aren't that important.


Marina

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2017, 10:11:31 am »
Cold shower. Sobering.
Thank you.  ))

Marina

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2017, 11:03:21 am »
What's happening ?!
Something exploded inside me.
I cry and laugh at the same time.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my God !!!

Jed McKenna

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2017, 08:05:23 pm »
Just be with it as best you can and remember to breath Marina. It's all quite natural, just new to you.

Love ya, Jed.

Marina

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2017, 09:25:57 am »
Thank you for the help, Jed.

Just sharing. Most likely it doesn't matter :)

Today I saw your emptiness. This is so obvious and so difficult to describe.
And your messages are like prints on the sand from a gust of wind.
I look at other people and see them as before. They are very specific.
But you are empty.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2017, 09:48:36 am by Marina »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2017, 02:02:02 am »
That's pretty much all I can find here as well, the odd time something a little more ''human'' slips in but passes quickly.

Love ya, Jed.

Marina

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2017, 03:19:09 am »
Yesterday I began to re-read “Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing” and couldn't finish reading Chapter 1.
I cried. So much love in your words Jed!
I re-read this book several times and each time I perceived it in a new way.
And now ... This is unexpected…
“Spiritual Enlightenment…”  is the book about love...
Thank you.
Love you.

That which cannot be simpler.
 :)
« Last Edit: May 06, 2017, 05:58:43 am by Marina »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2017, 01:36:33 am »
Keep whittling it down to the next level of simplicity.

Love ya, Jed

Marina

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2017, 02:51:38 am »
I don't know anything.
O_O

Of course, I perceive what is around me and interpret it. But it doesn’t mean anything, because it's nothing.
My thoughts and feelings are nothing.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2017, 04:36:27 am »
 ;) :P :-*

Marina

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2017, 06:02:13 am »
"Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound"

 :)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2017, 04:29:36 am »
Sounds like walls built out of insubstantial stories... they crumble quite easily upon awareness of them being only stories.

Love ya, Jed.

Marina_

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #13 on: June 08, 2017, 10:49:40 pm »
Post deleted.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2017, 11:03:54 am by Marina_ »

Inedible

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Re: Who am I ?
« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2017, 11:02:46 pm »
Dear Inedible:

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. There is a bit of a format in this forum. Each member must start their own thread and stick to it. This helps a member keep track of ''progress'' and helps me stay organized  :D :D :D :D

So please follow suit and we can communicate there.

Love ya, Jed.
« Last Edit: June 09, 2017, 02:44:07 am by Jed McKenna »