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Who am I ?
Marina:
Who am I ?
I asked myself this question at 5 years old.
I don't know why, but inside myself I knew that my parents can't answer. So I didn't ask them about it.
I also knew that my parents are not my parents, and I'm not a girl named Marina. We play the game.
Then Who am I? I looked in the mirror, looked at my hands and asked myself. I began to feel the wave inside me. I didn't know, What it is? I was scared and began to cry.
For many years I practiced at various religions, esoteric systems and other traditions. Oh, I had mystical experiences! It was so real. :) But at my almost 50 years old, I still haven't answered my question.
Then I found your books, Jed. Or they found me. :) At long last !
( I hope you understand, why I feel grateful whenever I write to you.
I've been coming here for a long time.)
So, a lot of illusions were thrown into the fire, including my mystical pictures. And this process is not over yet.
Now about my cement. You gave me two good formulas:
How does it feel to be
(my trouble)
? and
Can you make it worse, can you make yourself the most
(my trouble)
person in existence.
I done it.
...The most stuck person... It was very painful.
I stayed at home for several days. I could not do anything. I was lying on the couch, watching my breathing and thoughts. I sank to the bottom.
Unexpectedly, I found that my hit "I am a dead man among people" changed to another hit "Nothing matters. Then why should I do something?
Oh, my mind wants drama! This is the first.
In what way (any trouble or something else) it does this, just the second question.
My mind sells me drama. OK!
But why do I buy it?
This is the main question.
Jed McKenna:
Hi Marina:
Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing, BUT, and this is a big BUT, your questions is quite pointless, as are all ''why'' questions. There are only two ''truthish'' answers to ''why'': a.) it seemed like a good idea at the time, and b.) because.
Asking why is a total, and I mean TOTAL waste of time. It is almost always aimed at pointing out some type of blame, and blame is made up, hence the answer to ''why'' is also made up.
You aren't a dead man, in reality, you are not a man and the real you was never born and thus will never die. Suck it up princess.
Love ya, Jed.
P.S. Cut the drama, you just aren't that important.
Marina:
Cold shower. Sobering.
Thank you. ))
Marina:
What's happening ?!
Something exploded inside me.
I cry and laugh at the same time.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my God !!!
Jed McKenna:
Just be with it as best you can and remember to breath Marina. It's all quite natural, just new to you.
Love ya, Jed.
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