Author Topic: Why is life unfair?  (Read 3425 times)

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Why is life unfair?
« on: March 18, 2017, 09:45:18 pm »
Why are we all under different circumstances, Why is the universe mean with brutality at times with other presence of not being able to ever thrive due to lack of resources or just a deformed unfortunate lack of luck from either health or an ill society crampling up on that presence? 

I feel depressed thinking about my life as all a mere luck draw with no meaning behind it. I feel depressed just thinking about going back into being not learning much from trying to awaken my sleep state. I've been doing a lot of self help latey for the past year.

But recently my biggest bottleneck has been my constant health problems, I suffer from tinnitus and internal bleeding. It's been very difficult for me to sleep as it's very unbearable at night, And all this internal bleeding causes me to be cold and fatigued all day. And this brain fog isn't helping while i'm sleep deprived daily due to the tinnitus.

What am I living for? Why do i have to bother? It's not even fair when i see other healthy people around me. Even when i know I that body that i am isn't true either as i am the so called universe just like you all ?.. this is all puzzling why would i/we create this?

I've had my SO break up with me after 3 years since i was unable to cope with my health issues, and she said she's found someone that's way more amazing than me even though we've been through self help content together fixing lots of neurotic traits in each other, apparently she was talking to a guy for 9months behind my back introducing him to self help as well discussing things behind my back bonding with him while i had no idea. I'm absolutely devasted with that blow too. Why would i do that to myself? How do i unconditionally love such a messed up world? This is madness! And to top that up she's left me because of my health problems because i no longer could stimulate her emotional **** needs over being there for me.

I've read your 3 enlightment books and one of them being yours. But all this awakening and going back to sleep state to wear our ego's puzzles me as i don't feel like i've gained anything to overcome life's brutality.

Please give me some guidance. Thank you.
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Social Buttons


Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11292
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2017, 12:53:16 am »
Hi there;

Welcome to the forum.

I understand that you are in some physical and emotional pain... so what?

Now, I know that some folks, you included, might think that rather harsh... but I am dead serious... so what?

You are not the first person to have been jilted by someone you thought loved you, and you're certainly not the only person who has had health challenges. You are not nearly as important as you think  you are. If you can do something about the health challenges, then do something. I can not tell you what that might be. If you can't do anything then realize that.. but I am guessing can do something.

Regarding your emotional challenges, that's just a bunch of drama. You put her in your life and from the begin you knew where it would go.... you knew it but were not honest with yourself... to recognize you knew.

Turning to me for assistance in this requires courage, but realizing your own responsibilities require greater courage. Time to man up.

Love ya, Jed.
Like Like x 1 View List

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 03:00:24 am »

I Don't Want To Exist



We have to eat, sleep, we forget, we're petty and superficial, everything we do and think is meaningless. When things are going "well", we fool ourselves into thinking life is "good", when in reality, any moment could turn into suffering.

Why does the universe exist?

We don't think about it, because we're so immersed in it, so distracted by it, and because there is no answer.

Logic follows - if one doesn't see the point, then for them, there is no point. I could kill myself, but how can I know "I" will not be reborn? How can I know anything at all? So I can't do anything about it, what am I supposed to do then? Why the actual **** do I exist and what am I supposed to do?


I just want to clear this up: I am not being pessimistic, but rather, I'm existentially exhausted and feeling rebellious in the sense that I don't want to be a part of any of it. I guess what I really wish for is to REST. Not sleep-rest, more like die-rest. I want eternal peace or to actually be a true god that can actually have a full/any option at every dimension of life over the current limits.

We ultimately have to make two decisions: 1) Do we  choose to live or die? 2) Do we choose to be try to be happy/positive or miserable/negative?

but both these choices are still part of the human psyche which in the end is meaningless






Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2017, 03:03:10 am »
Aren't my responsibilities all an illusion since i don't really exist as that ego?
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2017, 03:14:14 am »
I feel confused, yes i let her in my life but isn't she me? aren't we all connected? Why should i fear myself? i gave her a lot of unconditional love regardless of her toxic flaws as i believed in it. am i not supposed to believe in others and the universe?


Why would we as consciousness/god create a universe with destruction? why unfair circumstances/luck/health/suffering? What purpose do those serve?

We as consciousness created a delusion. That we are separate from God. In that delusion duality was created.

That duality includes those things we mention.

how is it possible without an ego? we have to keep judging things in life or else we will be unable to live, we can get used as door mats with unconditional love, and we can eat things that may affect us badly overtime.. how do i overcome this to be at peace with it?


Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2017, 03:19:47 am »
We cannot do without the ego because it is part of the duality we live in. However we can learn to recognise when it is speaking to us and realise those thoughts are not us. Isn't that a way of constantly trying to dodge something that we dislike? It doesn't really give value for the things that we like in life either.. as it's not really real if we are brutally honest. I feel like we keep toying around with the right and wrong when one experiences a slight awakening like me using it to deflect something that i don't want to face. Which seems toxic, but then again acceptance is just as toxic because sometimes when i struggle it's better to get things done and then other times struggling makes things, and rationality isn't always the best answer as it has it's blind spots as a paradigm, all this annoys me because i can't have any clear answers and i am uncertain of everything even my own name is at a 60% of truth as i never hold anything at a 100% even gravity belief is still at 60%.. that's my ego's rules as it understands it can't be certain due to it's humanly equiped psyche
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11292
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2017, 12:32:02 am »
Dear K;

I suggest you read as much of this forum as possible. The answers lie herein, but you have to put the time in.

Love ya, Jed

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2017, 09:27:25 am »
i've read several topics but i felt like your answers to them did not resonate to me or maybe my ego is too sneaky to disguise it as a non answer

i will give it a try for the next month or 2 of reading an hour a day, if i am unable to find it let's resume breaking down my ego's blind spots

thank you jed
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2017, 11:28:51 am »
all i can understand is

IT IS

that's all there is to it

everything else is an illusion

it brings me back to square 1 of WHY

and why is still part of the dream so it's meaning is pointless

everything remains uncertain

why am i searching if everything is an illusion

an infinite illusion loops

what the **** jed this is day 1 and i'm already just as **** lost as i was the first place

i did spend time reading enlightment books, meditating i've been searching for truth for years, i've only been introduced to enlightenment last year and even on this path i feel like a dead circle and i looped, i did get maybe an awakening but i'm not even sure of it, i got my few AHA moments but theirs a chance that wasn't even real as i just felt i couldn't communicate as there are no words for it

everything is an illusion

even these words they have no meaning but our brains have been trained to make them come to life even though their just lines drawings symbols.. we could turn the letter a into representing a nation or your mom or your food if the human psyche and dogma let it be that way

for fucks sake what am i searching for if it doesn't exist jed

experience? intellect knowledge graph paradigms ? it makes me feel like hey why not just find out by killing myself to see what happens next if i am really that infinite
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2017, 11:39:28 am »
why should not address other people around us? why is our problem if it's our thoughts that judge and want to speak out? this doesn't sound like freedom it sounds like it's restricting it but then as i look again it does make sense not to bother or care as it's not buying into the illusion

but then again we are still partaking in that illusion we still choose things in the illusion nothings ever right or wrong in it

i feel like i'm looping..

remember they are just thoughts.. huh.. then why am i even here if so.. why.. because it is?.. my partner in crime ego.. why can't we partners in bliss? why do we pick between them? confusion arises loop increases with no validity around it of being certain with a goal, why is it important to have a goal? why not? i'm not significant so what? i  am on denial? i loop..
« Last Edit: March 21, 2017, 11:41:39 am by khalifa »
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2017, 12:40:21 pm »
so i should just enjoy the life drive as it is without being too attached to it?

what should i participate in ? there is no goal for all of this it is what it is i loop
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2017, 12:11:14 pm »
quote:

"First off.. it was an experience and T/R is not an experience. Experiences come and go as you found out. Once you are done, you are done and you know you are. With my Nav Series students I also pretty much know when someone is done.

B:) A ''teaser'' such as you experienced can be a powerful experience and there is a strong tendency to look back to it  and attempt to repeat it. This can be a major hurdle because it obviously takes you  out of the present moment.

3.) My suggestion is  that you completely forget about it. Let it go and be in this present moment as best you can. Relax and breath. You are being dreamt, breathed and lived. Might as well enjoy the entertainment presented to you.

Lastly... don't try to figure anything out. Not only is that impossible, it only generates more stories and deepens that illusion that you have control and that you can understand that which is impossible to understand."

is this my answer? i am trying too hard to understand everything with an ego, i should just live life while being detached as i cherry pick it around when given with present choices? or does anything go as there is no one answer
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11292
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2017, 12:23:07 am »
Absorb First off, B and 3, all you need is there but you need to get it at a cellular level.

Love ya, Jed.

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2017, 01:18:43 am »
i can't seem to enjoy the responsibility part it's too much of a pain, this body has lazy human traits with no motivation at life as i(the body) still find it pointless even if my(the body) goal is to experience it, i feel like there is nothing to experience as i've seen it all i keep repeating an algorithm, i am bored i am not stupid, i think of myself as not that dumb but deep down i know i am a pawn and i am way dumber than i would expect not to be

how do i overcome this am i just supposed to use a habit change routine to brain wash myself to like life?
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11292
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2017, 09:27:25 am »
Your suffering lies solely in your thoughts that something should change. Tell me why something should be different and I will bow down to you. But, I don't want to hear any thoughts from you because I never believe thoughts.

Love ya, Jed.