Author Topic: Why is life unfair?  (Read 3425 times)

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2017, 01:05:02 pm »
i just took a random walk around my room with no thoughts no judgement, i told myself before hand i would stop thinking and walk around without following or starting any thoughts,  i didn't even speak to myself as i walked where to next i just was present in my walk

i felt an odd sensation but it's probably just an illusion

i felt like i got an answer maybe this is it?

but then i realized oh it's just another thought..

how do i communicate if everything i have in my head are thoughts

clear it all out, empty it..

and then what do i have left?

present experience

my mind screams it is not enough this is not the answer i want

why am i not satisfied?

because i created a thought of not being satisfied the loop continues.

i clear my thoughts again

how do i live with no thoughts?

why am i complicating things

as you said my suffering lies in my thoughts..

why should something be different, well wouldn't it be nice if it were pure bliss? but that pure bliss thought is another thought and another self limited belief that i hold dearly

i shall continue to read i may or may not find something

Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #16 on: March 23, 2017, 02:20:15 pm »
i don't exist

i can understand that the mind isn't me

and everything i say is bullshit

everything i think of is an illusion

but what next what's after enlightment?

i don't even feel enlightened i probably aren't as i didn't do any self inquiry work all i did was brutal read through books and this forum and i get the concept and i believe in it

believe in it like it's truth? i can rationalize it's more accurate as everything is a trained thought

this language doesn't exist it's only pure drawings of lines but our mind was just trained to learn this type of illusion overtime

how to unlearn this crap that we are used to

**** im stuck again

there is no need to unlearn some habits but jeez i do not feel enlightened i just feel as pointless as i was

**** my thoughts

Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #17 on: March 23, 2017, 02:21:30 pm »
What is T/R transcendence? SA self assessment?

Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11298
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2017, 12:46:01 am »
You don't think you are enlightened... because you seek something that you have no idea of... it's not even a feeling and certainly not a thought, it's a knowing (more than anything).

Stick with your experience.. you already have it, and all you really want. Just be as open as you can.

Love ya, Jed.

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2017, 02:02:36 am »
open as i can on what? not knowing anything and being uncertain of everything as they are all stories and thoughts?

how to live such a complicated life is it just cherry picking everything all over again?
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11298
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #20 on: March 24, 2017, 06:14:43 am »
Life is dog-simple.... it's only thinking that complicates it.

Love ya, Jed.

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #21 on: March 24, 2017, 11:07:35 am »
i find myself backsliding a lot even when i say aha i got it, i'll just be present
then within minutes to hours i just get mad and frustrated
i detect my thoughts and say that's not me
yet i get frustrated within moments or so
i have been on this cycle for quite a while but recently it's quite heavy as it's all i have this pattern has grown strong and is hard to let go off
i know i dont exist why am i sad every moment about it because i keep thinking about it, alright ill just let go of thinking
and then i loop again getting mad
i have awareness but i don't have bliss
i guess i'm just agitated by not having great health or i'm holding onto the past where the days of being healthy and meditating were bliss and i felt like my life was perfect as i practised gratitude but it all went away
oh again stuck in my thoughts that shifted me back to backslide again
it's not real nothing is real..

what am i supposed to do if i keep looping like this with no clarity?
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2017, 11:09:15 am »
broken clarity *
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11298
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #23 on: March 24, 2017, 11:19:57 pm »
Forget about why and look for how. What is the beginning of a loop. Do an intervention if you feel like it.

Watching what is happening very closely will change things all on their own. You are not needed, awareness is.

Love ya, Jed.

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #24 on: March 25, 2017, 03:36:47 pm »
why are things are the way they are : alright i'll let go about that question

How are things the way they are? I can't really answer this they just are.. or rather i let them be by thinking more thoughts?

I'm stuck again jed

awareness is only needed?
I've been aware the whole time of not being real and everything is an illusion

 and that didn't really get me anywhere.. because i just keep bringing more thoughts

how do i go around this?

i feel like i'm just mentally masturbating with mind games at this point

i am looking for answer when there is no answer

is this my answer?

i am looking for a clear path

there is no clear path

i am looking for what to do with this shitty body that i hate

which is another story

**** this is complicated

even with self-inquiry it's even more frustrating as i can't find myself when there is no self to find as that is true self
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #25 on: March 25, 2017, 11:55:02 pm »
quote

"Regarding spiritually being connected to people, I've noticed you said we are the world, yet I notice some of your advices where you say it's ok to cut people out if their low conscious, but then again isn't that contradicting since it's still our beautiful universe and it's all us as we are god? so how does this unconditional love work? why function it in a conditioning way with people around us? and the paradox of being detached from people/reality.. how does true intimacy actually work? "

"The contradiction arises because everyone is at a different level. Cutting people out of your life is about being Adult, universal love is about T/R. They are very different."

What do you mean by T/R ? transcendence?

Why are they different?
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11298
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #26 on: March 26, 2017, 12:00:53 am »
T/R means Truth Realization.

Don't try to make sense out of any of this venture. It doesn't make sense.

Love ya, Jed.

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #27 on: March 26, 2017, 12:32:10 am »
if i am not seeking any sense in it why am i on it's venture? and why be on this venture..? truth is life is programmed and nothing is to be certain what do i gain of this? nothing
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

khalifa

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 75
  • Location: bahrain
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #28 on: March 26, 2017, 12:32:46 am »
nothing because i choose it to be nothing unless if i affirm myself otherwise this brain is pure self-deception zone
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11298
    • View Profile
Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #29 on: March 26, 2017, 12:44:37 am »
Nothing, but ''nothing'' is not what you think, it is what is. Thinking is ''some'' thing even though it's nothing. It distracts you massively. If you don't like the ride then get off it. There are many other rides available.

Love ya, Jed.