all i can understand is
IT IS
that's all there is to it
everything else is an illusion
it brings me back to square 1 of WHY
and why is still part of the dream so it's meaning is pointless
everything remains uncertain
why am i searching if everything is an illusion
an infinite illusion loops
what the
**** jed this is day 1 and i'm already just as
**** lost as i was the first place
i did spend time reading enlightment books, meditating i've been searching for truth for years, i've only been introduced to enlightenment last year and even on this path i feel like a dead circle and i looped, i did get maybe an awakening but i'm not even sure of it, i got my few AHA moments but theirs a chance that wasn't even real as i just felt i couldn't communicate as there are no words for it
everything is an illusion
even these words they have no meaning but our brains have been trained to make them come to life even though their just lines drawings symbols.. we could turn the letter a into representing a nation or your mom or your food if the human psyche and dogma let it be that way
for
**** sake what am i searching for if it doesn't exist jed
experience? intellect knowledge graph paradigms ? it makes me feel like hey why not just find out by killing myself to see what happens next if i am really that infinite