Author Topic: Why is life unfair?  (Read 5098 times)

khalifa

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Re: Why is life unfair?
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2017, 11:07:35 am »
i find myself backsliding a lot even when i say aha i got it, i'll just be present
then within minutes to hours i just get mad and frustrated
i detect my thoughts and say that's not me
yet i get frustrated within moments or so
i have been on this cycle for quite a while but recently it's quite heavy as it's all i have this pattern has grown strong and is hard to let go off
i know i dont exist why am i sad every moment about it because i keep thinking about it, alright ill just let go of thinking
and then i loop again getting mad
i have awareness but i don't have bliss
i guess i'm just agitated by not having great health or i'm holding onto the past where the days of being healthy and meditating were bliss and i felt like my life was perfect as i practised gratitude but it all went away
oh again stuck in my thoughts that shifted me back to backslide again
it's not real nothing is real..

what am i supposed to do if i keep looping like this with no clarity?
Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer or afraid of losing, who has not the slightest interest even in his own personality. He is free ~ rumi