Author Topic: Without wanting something...  (Read 2666 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #30 on: October 06, 2017, 07:32:07 am »
You want to be somebody, sooo.... hmm... are you not somebody already? I'm confused... or have you got to the point where you realize you are nobody? Let me know.

Love ya, Jed.

Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #31 on: January 23, 2018, 12:52:33 pm »
Long period of time on a dream level as a "person" I feeling myself like a useless piece of sh1t.
Jed, do I need to do with that something?
Or any question about " how to be on a dream level" is already useless piece of sh1t?
Thanks for all!

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Jed McKenna

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #32 on: January 24, 2018, 02:00:06 am »
What if that is what everyone is...or maybe everyone is a saint... or, what if all that was just mind garbage? Made up garbage so one can feel better about being just a slightly less piece of shite than another one?

If it's all made up (and it definitely is) then make up something that's more fun...why not.

Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #33 on: April 22, 2018, 08:46:34 pm »
Last few weeks, I dont know how to make some more fun, I feel myself like loosing any motivation to do anything except food, when its really need, body needs, and very rarely make some hobby. The most of the time I seating at my room and contemplate inside my person a dark-dark-dark feelings and apathy about most of the things.
This sort of question arise in a head: What can I give to the others? What can I tell them when we meet? They are so belive and sure in their (whatever) goals, their importance, or that every moment of their life they trying to find more pleasure and fun, and on the other side is me, who not sure in anything, especially in this "me", in my thoughts in a head, in my feelings, in pain inside, not sure in what I want. What can I say to others at this level, when somebody (friends, parents, people around) want to spend time or drink coffee with me? This diffidence paralize me, and I siting at home already a week or a few, and dont take a phone when somebody calling. And this strange feelings that Im not sure what is this "me", but at the same time I steel have this "I, me, mine" level.

Jed, where I need to look, and for what things i need to be focusing?
« Last Edit: April 22, 2018, 08:53:46 pm by Dreamstate »
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Jed McKenna

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #34 on: April 22, 2018, 10:03:04 pm »
I suggest you start forgiving. Make it your next ''habit''. Forgiving is not for the other, only for you... to release from an illusory past and fictitious future. If you find you can't forgive something then forgive yourself for that.

Everything... your chair is a good place to start... and work yourself up to the universe.

Love ya, Jed.

Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #35 on: April 25, 2018, 09:46:04 pm »
I will be try.
In my experience, blaming other people has stopped more than a year ago, when I realize how much pain and fear inside almost every human being, and its the same pain and fear that i have inside myself. But later I find out that blaming steel happen in my own address from myself, and on this level it more difficult to release. Later again I noticed, when I've imagine dialog with my mother in a head, almost every time I have an accusing tone of conversation with her, like I hold a grudge deep inside. I just noticing it, and can't go through it .
Can you give advise how to go through deep forgiving, or come closer to that?
« Last Edit: April 26, 2018, 07:21:54 am by Dreamstate »
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Jed McKenna

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #36 on: April 26, 2018, 06:39:58 am »
Go back to the simplest forgiving you can do. Forgive everything... you don't need a reason. Forgive the chair you are on, your computer... the coffee cup. You need total fluency on the simplest level before taking it further.

Love ya, Jed.

Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #37 on: September 26, 2018, 10:45:32 am »
Fukc! Im such a drama last days... and this thick and deep feellings inside kind of  “Im doing somthing wrong” and "Im not at the right place" and the most of all, and one of the painful " Im sooo pathetic "...Just pieace of sh*t drama...Look like that Im so weak to deal with that. How to kick this sh*t out, when you feel like that and can’t rise your hand?
« Last Edit: September 26, 2018, 04:50:44 pm by Dreamstate »
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Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #38 on: October 06, 2018, 08:59:47 pm »
Some times ago Im find out a huge "victim" pattern, that take a lot of my energy and attention. In me head a lot of stories goes around that "victim" feeling and trying to make me believe that some of circumstances happen so not fair with me...As I see it, its kind a deep and rooted thing...Don't know how to help myself and go through it...Your suggestion will be great.
Thanks.
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Jed McKenna

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #39 on: October 06, 2018, 10:41:57 pm »
Start out by listing here ALL the benefits of being a victim... and don't give me any b.s. about there not being any. You are definitely experiencing some benefits. Go deep.

Love ya, Jed.

Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #40 on: October 10, 2018, 08:32:34 pm »
Oh! :o No b.s. at all. The reason why Im coming here is the local Master of kick-out b.s. from me.
Anyway, Im try my best, and there is the list of benefits to be victim:

1 Victim-state give to me permission don't do my things (affairs, job, business)
2 Victim-state allows me being a dweeb
3 when I feel myself victim it change my focus and I look at other people, and don't look at myself
4 when I feel myself victim I blame others (or circumstances), that Im so weak right now and can't do anything else
5 I-victim think that Im depend on others (or circumstances), and can't help to myself (check 1st par.)
6 I-victum waiting that somebody come and resolve my problem
7 Victim-state doesn't take responsobilitis about what occur (check 1st par.)
8 I-victim might say to myself "Many things happen so not fair to me"

ps Oh gosh, its show my some interesting perspective, but Im still don't see how to break this wall of weakness inside.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2018, 08:41:56 pm by Dreamstate »
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Jed McKenna

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #41 on: October 10, 2018, 10:50:35 pm »
Next task is to consciously achieve those goals without being a victim.

Let's say I do something silly and feel like playing dweeb... I don't have to feel victim to play that role. I know it's only a role on a board game and not real... so I will just play it. You don't require your victim-role-permission to do anything. Take one a day and play it out for that day. Just do it. It's not real and your discomfort is thinking you have no control. Take control... one of those items a day, INTENTIONALLY play that out and realize you don't have to be a victim to do it. Just do it on you own without victimhood. It is a great opportunity to play.

Love ya, Jed.

Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #42 on: January 24, 2019, 08:47:32 pm »
Hi Jed! Interesting to know, is it have the difference between "just have fun in a dreamstate" or at the same time its more like trying to run away from despair(psychological pain, trauma) to a pleasure? Is it deferent kinds off acts? what is your perspective on that.

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Jed McKenna

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #43 on: January 25, 2019, 12:49:09 am »
Please explain or ask a different way, I don't understand your question.

Love ya, Jed.

Dreamstate

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Re: Without wanting something...
« Reply #44 on: April 22, 2019, 01:40:29 pm »
caught myself thinking:
I'm looking for something that has no change,
whatever it is - changes do not occur
all the time happens is "nothing"
or nothing happens 
is it like that?
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