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General Discussion / Re: When it feels real but you know it isn't.
« Last post by Sandraanne on Today at 06:25:16 pm »
Yeah, yesterday I wrote...

It kind of hit me this morning that sometimes I'm thinking that what happens in the dream must matter somehow but then I saw that it didn't but strangely knowing this made the whole thing more pleasant in a sad kind of way like this is the big joke of it all.  I think from here I just kind of let go like there are a lot of things, ideas really, or hopes and dreams that are basically destroyed whe this is realized.  And my own death staring me down, thinking now, how could I have been so stupid to have lived so long this other way, you know the things I might have enjoyed if I'd only known. 

Then today, i was driving to work and I was listening to the most exquisite piece of music and suddenly, it was like I was a character in a cartoon or an absurd movie reminded me of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" for some reason.  Everything became rather small, like toys.  Total trip, very cool.  Nothing is ever wrong seems to be sinking in now.
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General Discussion / Re: Hey, part 2.
« Last post by sixohs on Today at 06:16:31 pm »
....
I kind of lost sight of the plot.

What is it that I was looking for again?

Enlightentment being the name of a THING.

What is that THING?

Happiness, peace, bliss, etc...

all seperate qualities.

but not enlightenment.

So, what is enligthenment?

Feel like im going in circles.

Enlightenemnt....is the the name of something.
a pointer of something.

But what is it pointing at ?

Seems like it cant point at anything.

Cause there is nothing under the name.

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General Discussion / Re: Back again
« Last post by Floris on Today at 04:41:26 pm »
Hi Jed,

did some shrooms today, then the dreamstate became obvious. There was fear about surrundering everything and letting go of the dream because there were fearfull thoughts that could be the most stupid thing to do. Who knows if letting go is a good way to go, perhaps it would result in very bad **** (yes these are fear projections). There is fear that this letting go could be very stupid. Maybe because when everything is let go, everything can happen. Yes does anyhting really happen, but there is fear of even pondering that, because that could solve the issue and than it all collapses and the 'bad ****' could happen.

Things that were not thought possible happened all the time, desires became reality (as far as that goes). But trying to hold it all together by fearfull projection and by closing of possibilities of bad ****. Things are fine now, but I'm going to be stupid enough (probably, because playing a very stubborn self) to not leave this thing alone and the same situation will happen. then fear will come again what a **** stupid move this was and fear of bad **** happening and being afraid to let things go, because then the possibility of bad **** increases.

Frankly also, there is the question that if this dream is stopped by not believing it anymore or by stop wanting anything that nothing would even ever have ever happened..  :o Not sure in which way that is true, but it feels true in many ways. Now I wrote that it's feels like I know nothing ever happened, although not quite sure in which way that is true. Are there just dreams, like would there be more dreams than this, like "jed's" dream, "my mothers" dream, this (my) dream, or is it even that there are more dreams just a dream

This pondering is fine, because it's happening from a sense of being safe now, but there is also still the fear (that fear for bad **** happening), and uncertainty about what to do. If the dream is stopped, surrendered too, letted go, then maybe the dream wouldn't go on and it would just stop. Maybe EVERYTHING will go, not like then there would still be 'your' jeds dream going on but also that dream would stop. Hard to get accross the right meaning there. Because I'm not an individual or something, so if I stop dreaming than 'all' dreams would stop, as far as that makes sense, but that's gets the meaning accross.

it's felt in that moment that if I would stop choosing this dream with a world and other dreamers etc. but would choose another, then this one would end just at that moment and the other would begin. It's also feared that if I don't block off certain possibilities, that it would or could happen. Like let's say the building here exploding. That is not felt of feared right now, but this fear will probably come up again if this waking up **** starts happening again. could you say something about that? Also you may say other stuff about other things I in this post, some feedback from someone awake might be nice
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General Discussion / Re: Who am I ?
« Last post by Marina_ on Today at 02:10:56 pm »
So much love Jed.
So much !!..
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General Discussion / Re: Nothing matters?
« Last post by kerubi on Today at 02:03:18 pm »
Thank You.

All in "me" disgust me now..
I'm just pile everything vague. I am no longer a complete individual as I imagined before. I notice that everything I do or say will automatically come from memory. I'm autopilot- character.
I just try to understand this and go further. This is just a capter where I have been also before. I can just watching it, right?

Love ya, k
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General Discussion / Re: Have been here before
« Last post by mindlessbutter on Today at 01:00:42 pm »
Well. It opens up a lot of pain to say the least. I am constantly fighting for a horrible relationship, to get 'him' back and get his Attention back while actually thinking he is toxic for me. Having worth... well, would not do that --> pain! (not suffering - pain!) Have to go through it I suppose
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General Discussion / Re: Where to go from here?
« Last post by Maxx_payne on Today at 11:57:54 am »
Hey Jed,

I've been doing something similar to S/A over the past month or so. Removing false labels and attachments, all the things that I used to believe were true about myself. Some came off easily (ex. that I am a 'good person') and some were far more painful (ex. I am a 'man', human, have a body). I realize clearly now that my true self does not have any objective qualities whatsoever and does not fit any description.

However, I know there is still this distinction or barrier that needs to collapse in order to go further. There is still this subject-object relationship between consciousness and everything else. Consciousness AND that which I am conscious of. How do I destroy this distinction?
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General Discussion / Re: What's further
« Last post by El.H. on Today at 11:24:50 am »
I was really angry for myself, nursing all that stuff.  Iíve been thinking and searching, searching and thinking . Iíve been everywhere; Iíve turned my brain inside out. And now I know for sure: Iím sorry to disappoint you, coach, but I have nothing to see there for more. Itís a plain and simple place, nothing is hiding there. So Iím going to go on running my poor little life in my tiny little brain and stop screwing it.
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General Discussion / Re: Maya
« Last post by Alice on Today at 08:50:55 am »
Simple exersise to try to write something what looks truthish and observe your own thoughts about their truthishness coses so much fear and panic (up to unpleasant senses in the body, very unpleasant).
Funny.

PS I didn't clearly understand what you meant in your previous reply... 
Can you say it in simpler words?
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General Discussion / Re: Well now I'm just running out of words . . .
« Last post by DrDaring on Today at 08:14:43 am »
I'm encountering some strange physical sensations.  My brain feels 'numb', as if its seized up or stopped using part of itself.  A headache like you wouldn't believe.

A loss of mental chatter, which seems to be a good thing.  A loss of meaning, which again is a good thing.  Progress, it seems.

Its like floating down a lazy river on an inner tube, just letting the current show me where its taking my experiences, and its always been like this.  I've just stopped paddling and am going along for the ride.  And the 'I' in I've is just a convenience of language - the idea of I continues, the 'reality' of I has broken down.

There's a lot of loss to this process.  This seems to be a good thing too.
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