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General Discussion / universe, neurosis & me
« Last post by morrinow on January 20, 2018, 11:08:52 am »
hi jed,
i can hardly believe i've stumbled upon you and this forum. even though i got to see now and then how magical life is, this seems just too **** much of a grace to me. of course i wonder if this is really you, but i can't help the impression it MUST be you (as, reading the books, i wondered if your enlightenment is real, but finally i couldn't resist to taking your writings extremely seriously). so i'd like to use the opportunity to express my gratitude for all the good work so far. you gave me something like a first glimpse into what it could mean to be alive - the remainder to be discovered by myself.
but still i'd be happy to get some advice now and then. right now i feel like i'm entering the HA state, but what really troubles me up to a minor depression is that i can't connect with most of the other human beings anymore. there's just nothing to say, bc the thing that mostly interests me is that process of becoming HA and also some philosophical stuff, but most people around me aren't interested in that. so here my questions go:

- will i ever feel comfortable/free to express myself when being with other people and if yes, how can i get there? at the moment i scan everything i say or do for egoic, self-serving BS and totally don't trust myself anymore bc i suspect and feel ego in everything i or other people are doing/saying.
- is it likely i got kinda brainwashed by your books? sometimes i suspect that, bc after reading them several times i recognize myself in so much stuff you say about being HA and i know how keen the ego is to identify with fancy HA stories. And i don't think my social anxiety fits in that concept of HA very well, so what's going on here? maybe it has to do with my imagination of a HA being necessarily a lonesome cowboy in an underdeveloped environment (might have something to do with the books ;) )... but the difference between others and me in will and ability to understand that HA kinda stuff seems so real!!

sorry for the many words and bigtime greetings from berlin to wherever you are!! Love ya too.
General Discussion / Black Mirror => Season 4 => Hang the DJ
« Last post by richard on January 20, 2018, 08:40:26 am »
Not AD !  Hi All:

Everybody need to watch this for "enlightenment" your self !

"Black Mirror" => Season 4 => Hang the DJ

Why we are live in "Maya" ?  Maybe this is a good reason !

"the benefit of escape the dungeon  is just  escape the dungeon."
General Discussion / Re: 2000 light years from home
« Last post by ThereIsOnlyOne on January 20, 2018, 08:35:20 am »
There is nothing to do because there is nothing which can be done. It is only in thought where the sense of doing and doership exists. Believing that something can be done maintains the attachment that what is perceived in thought is real.

Thoughts are watched without a need to do anything other than watch and not be lost to them. The tendency to be lost to them is often accompanied by a feeling or sensation which serves as a distraction. Those, no mater how uncomfortable, are left to burn themselves out with as little involvement as possible.

There's officially nothing that I can do ... and that is clearly understood.
General Discussion / Re: The awe-full truth
« Last post by EternalDawning on January 20, 2018, 07:35:38 am »
I feel broken apart shattered.  Noticing it and how these definitions do no justice at all.  I have no definition but my mind wants to continuously make one out of anything.  Whatever.  I feel I can focus on anything and that becomes a seeming reality.  Great blessings and gratitude. 

I try to consider, what am I resisting?  Something? Anything?  Is it just a feeling of being a body I feel?  Sometimes it's more clear.  I notice my tension and let it go.  I feel without my own definition or purpose and the thought that wants to be disconcerted hasn't fully deserted and I assume I must get used to the echo. 

There are these transition phases it seems... the inbetweens feel like slow falling sometimes.  Nothing to hold onto.  Thinking free fall and nothing to do with it.  I feel sometimes easier to detach from my body, but I struggle with thoughts of things to do.  Packing for the trip.  Taking care of ****.  But if I don't mind minimalism, everything is perfect going through this.  It's a lot though on every level circumstantially and by the meaning I give it.  Not wanting to let too much go. 

Sometimes the paradox just above my head is simply bypassed by knowing the thinker and seeing how it's all working to create an illusion of thinking and meaning out of a duality that holds no truth really.  But it's something to see.  Or is it?  I feel easily fooled by it or rather by the fool I recognize as me. 

It is funny from a certain perspective, but what are perspectives really?  What is this ride that only one is on cohesively?  Why do we even try to define it?  And who do I mean by we?  What am I imagining?  It seems a thin barrier to everything and the aspect of mind that does, keeps on wanting to know things based on the way stuff seems which is always changing and has no baring really except by interpretation to whatever, whoever, myself seems to be a part of out there. 

Maybe what I am trying to get at is attempting to understand a lingering desire to define ****.  Maybe defining **** is what diffuses it.  Saying '****' feels good right now.  Ok I'm over it. 

Every moment is a new moment and there's a holding on too.  A tension and desire to ... communicate maybe.  To just try to understand what it is I am going through.  But why try when it really can't be defined from that angle.  Why do I linger and not take a leap more often.  I feel safe somehow in the not knowing and not minding it.  Like my pain tolerance is both tightened and lessened simultaneously.   **** it.  Too much thinking about it, I am imagining a struggle with my own mind and from that angle there is no solution because the struggle doesn't really exist.  It's just an unfolding, transition time, whatever, however I want to define it for the moment.  In the next it will change and I'll probably wonder why I made anything of it at all.
General Discussion / Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Last post by Jed McKenna on January 19, 2018, 11:22:00 pm »
 8) 8) 8)
Jed Rants / Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Last post by Jed McKenna on January 19, 2018, 11:20:56 pm »
 :) :) :) :)
General Discussion / Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Last post by Escapist on January 19, 2018, 03:22:13 pm »
Don't even bother answering... It's so obvious right now

**** this **** is so overwhelming... It destroys everything and T-sar bomb like energy is free to flow
General Discussion / Re: When you say T/R is a kind of cellular knowing...
« Last post by Escapist on January 19, 2018, 02:34:31 pm »
Hey Jed, am I going into the right direction towards T/R or just deluding myself into thinking I am making progress? Current symptoms: Seeing of delusions; overwhelming energy and everything that's born out of it

I ask this not only because I want to receive validation from you, someone who I respect and I think of being higher in the hierarchy of wisdom I created myself in my mind, but also because I feel the need to be sure of my state and my way, because I am afraid of the future, so I need a "buffer"(hypnosis) to calm my preocupation(hypnosis). This means, I can "nest" preocupation inside of the buffer and the preocupation will sleep, but energy will be used for that.

Of course, that entire second paragraph wouldn't even exist if it wasn't because of fear, and this one too...If you get me...
General Discussion / Re: Purity of Intent
« Last post by Avihihi on January 19, 2018, 12:15:49 pm »
In the journey to H/A, I tried to run away from everything having bottomless meaning by trying to create meaning. I can't do that anymore, it feels impossible to create because I always see through the flimsy foundation.

What would you recommend?
Also is understanding this type of meaninglessness as dark night of the soul useful for h/a?
General Discussion / Re: *shrugs*
« Last post by Maya on January 19, 2018, 04:32:05 am »
the following happens frequently:

I start to feel like i'm putting no effort, making no progress and wasting my time.
I know its just my thoughts at it again so i dont cling to it and i resume whatever i am doing.

I am able to identify these thoughts more quickly than I used to and they barely have any power over me, however my question now is how to stop them? Would they eventually whither away the more I continue the observing? This applies to every thought. When/how would they stop?
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