Author Topic: TRN  (Read 2171 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #45 on: June 17, 2017, 02:11:36 pm »
That's rather obvious..

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #46 on: June 21, 2017, 09:57:40 am »
To "me" or to maya,
I've come to realize that you have infinite resources at your disposal. You can make "me" tired, exhausted, suddenly lose all my appetite(and therefore worried about that), feeling guilty and righteous and embarrassed and pleased and angry and uncertain about everything. It is pretty cool actually, I can be "angry" for being "embarrassed" and be "guilty" for being "angry" and this can go on forever - inception-style.

And that is ok. Keep doing what you are doing and I mean it.

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #47 on: June 21, 2017, 10:31:40 am »
I'm pretty sure I will but have no say in the matter.

Love ya, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #48 on: June 24, 2017, 10:19:09 am »
What if I look into my soul, my (assumed) very being, and find nothing?

Something that pops into my head just now.

Maybe it's my deep fear...

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #49 on: June 26, 2017, 06:56:50 am »
Maybe.... find out who thinks they are experiencing that fear.

Love ya, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #50 on: June 26, 2017, 10:04:50 am »
I think my world just broke apart. To put in simple words, I came to see that all this time I've been trying to "fix" various different things in my life, and there's this underlying assumption of a life of perfect harmony that can be achieved. Play the Perfect Harmony to the largest degree -- a world of no hunger, war, poverty, disease, death, not any cause of emotional distress or drama, not even the need to work for survival. It would be an...unimaginably horrible one. Wake up, then what? Stare at the ceiling, watch tv, watch characters experience things cannot even relate to, because imperfection isn't an option. Hurt isn't an option. Want to kill myself because it's just so boring? Death isn't an option either.

This is mindblowing enough for me alone, because it implies...all my past "trauma", all of what I think is wrong of me is just...nothing.

But here's part 2: maybe being bored enough, one can watch tv with such enthusiasm that they become the characters in the show...able to experience imperfection.

Whoa.  :o :o

« Last Edit: June 26, 2017, 10:09:26 am by TRN »

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #51 on: June 27, 2017, 06:13:04 am »
One day later: I feel particularly profound  ::) and I await your approval (stole from one of your rants, seems to apply)

So...further

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #52 on: June 28, 2017, 05:59:44 am »
Yes my child... you have been approved of and are unconditionally loved, indeed you are that love itself.... now GET BACK TO WORK. ... further.

Cheers, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #53 on: June 30, 2017, 05:20:08 am »
Realization:

(directed at myself)
Who cares about how much wealth you have? Who cares about your looks? Who cares about how witty/nice/anything you seem to be?

No one, they only seem to do that because it reinforces the concept of "themselves".
And I only do that because it reinforces the concept "me". So I have never genuinely "cared" or "loved" anyone...

*sometimes I write in first and second person which is confusing to read. That's what it's like in my head and I try to edit less.


Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #54 on: June 30, 2017, 03:21:36 pm »
Sounds just fine to me.

Love ya, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #55 on: July 02, 2017, 07:15:58 am »
"finite" vs "infinite" hypothesis

I struggled between two goal systems - one is what most people have - "be socially acceptable and you are doing fine",  and one is well, grow up and wake up or die trying. Major source of cognitive dissonance.

Today it came to me when I was in the kitchen that the major public's lives are heavily and vitally dependent on limitations: "freedom" in the common sense means "the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint." which translates in real life situations as not being censored and choosing whatever brand of cereal they like, while they are bound in space and time, in perishable and pretty lousy human forms(frankly, we don't even have the freedom to lick our noses with our tongues.) The goal of life is to actively stay away from infinity through various means, and keep the mental + physical constraints on for as long as possible - the most "preferable" death occurs in one's 80s-90s, usually when one's sleeping or surrounded by one's children to keep up the illusion of "company" till the last minute.

We have this fundamental filter built deep under our skins - "good or bad", "positive or negative". Every single experience goes through it or it wouldn't even make sense in our minds. And this filter is built around the single goal of avoiding infinity: what preserves the idea of "me", a unquestionably separate special being in a whole wide universe, is treasured; and everything that points to the opposite triggers disgust, fear, and a burning desire to make it go away. This may be how things work in the finite game, and if I(anyone) choose to enter the infinite game, I imagine the labels are the other way around:  Love what upsets you, and hate what comforts you.


« Last Edit: July 02, 2017, 07:19:19 am by TRN »

Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #56 on: July 02, 2017, 07:26:00 am »
When you appear to choose your breakfast cereal your mind was made up from a few tenths of a second to as many as ten seconds before you realize that selection consciously and mind jumped in with its b.s. that IT made the choice.

Do a little research on the neurology of decision making and it won't be long before you get it. Thinking you decide anything is one of the biggest lies within the human dream. Patently ridiculous..

I welcome your feedback after a little contemplation of you own thoughts and some Youtubing.

Love ya, Jed.

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #57 on: July 02, 2017, 11:08:40 am »
Around a week ago I actually watched a youtube series called Mind Field that has an episode on Freedom of Choice. There was a device that reads brainwaves and "knows" when the subjects are going to push a button before they actually do it. The show felt more like entertainment or "food for thought" than serious "science" to me so I searched a few databases, so far:

(feel free to skip because nothing really interesting)
- value assigning system is a part of decision making. And whether it occurs in one or multiple regions of the brain(still debatable)
- Neural noise is "relevant" to the understanding of free will and moral responsibility
- in one article their definition of "autonomy" includes "consistent with the individual's higher-order beliefs and desires" in the sense that "first-order desires" are the primal ones such as hunger and resentment at being mistreated(??), and beyond that we are "free to want what we want". It all goes downhill from there.

So, basically they(the ones I read) are often off-mark and painfully vague. The problem with science or with "learning" from all external sources, be it spiritual teachings or scientific journals, is that in the end it's a form of accepting certain beliefs. How do I know if it's another lie or not?

If I apply this "How do I know?" approach to my own thinking and beliefs (which is likely to not be my own), for example to my previous post, the n really, that was a hypothesis at best. Or a hallucination. Look into myself and I find more lies - they aren't even lies, just floating possibilities(quantum mechanic-y!)

Why Anything?
Why not??
 ??? ??? ???
« Last Edit: July 02, 2017, 11:44:07 pm by TRN »

TRN

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Re: TRN
« Reply #58 on: July 05, 2017, 07:58:59 am »
Whose autonomy?

What's autonomy without a "self"? What's a "self" without autonomy?

Autonomy requires a "self". Be it subconscious, neuron activity, one cannot say free will doesn't exist without defining the "self"/ the thing that free will belongs to first. Yes free will can exist, because be it subconscious or neuron activity, you can stretch the definition of self to cover them all. Autonomy exists because of the self, the self exists because of autonomy. Like two hands drawing each other? Sounds ridiculous but you know, "prove that you don't exist" is just ridiculous as "prove that you exist". Maybe trying to prove is already a losing battle. What is trying to prove?

No idea but yes "I" have an idea. And "I" can only give the idea of an "I" who is trying to prove from a perspective of "I".
”I" define itself(myself) as a body-mind complex. Autonomy and Anatomy. The body is the mind that perceives the body. That is I from the perspective of I. The loopliest loop ever ::) ??? >:(


Jed McKenna

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Re: TRN
« Reply #59 on: July 05, 2017, 10:54:02 am »
Any ''thing'' trying to prove anything is how wars begin. I suggest you avoid such silliness.

Love ya, Jed.
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