Dear Members, Lurkers, and Friends:
Here is a major step towards H/A.
Other people's business is just that, their business. When you are in their business no one is minding the store (your store). When no one is minding your store others jump to fill the void and hence run you and your business. Look at it the other way. A friend calls you up with her problems. It's obvious that she has problems because she isn't minding her store. You sense the lack of management and step in to fill the void. Maya/ego loves to offer management temps as it makes her appear indispensable. This all happens in and instant and usually quite subtly.... but it will become more obvious with increased awareness.
STOP and think about what is really going on. You are being of disservice to her and you. Your store is now empty and her store is being run by you. That is a formula for suffering if I ever heard one.
You have nothing to offer anyone until you realize that you are nothing, and then, just maybe you will be able to offer the universe and more. Realize your True Nature first and then go out and change the world, if you can find one.
Now, on a practical level, what does one do when a friend make a plea for attention (all it usually is)? What to do when you feel a strong urge to assist and guide them?Yes, I do get that this arises from time to time and there is a very easy formula. It requires a rather rare ingredient, trust. Trust that they know what they really want, where they are going and what to do next. They may not sound like they do, but that's just their game. Don't get drawn into it.
Here is the magic formula, but I warn you, it's deceptively simple while usually difficult as heck to do.
1. Learn how to shut up. Don't finish their sentences, don't jump to conclusions, relax and breathe. I can assure you that they aren't and you might just help in that one simple action.
2. ONLY ASK QUESTIONS... ONLY! And that is going to be the hard part. Do not ask questions to meet your agenda (as best you can) and don't fail to ask questions just because you ''think'' you might receive an uncomfortable answer. The goal is to gentle get them to reflect on their world.
Until you are, at a minimum H/A and preferably T/R, everything you do will have some degree of Maya/ego contamination, it can't be avoided. By focusing on questions, you have a much better chance of being of some service, PLUS, you might just learn something. While this is just a marvelous dream, learning is always fun. and learning about this thing called ''you'' is the most fun, in my experience.
One more point. Sometimes friend A will call you and, vicariously, attempt to enroll you in solving friend B's problems. This is a real formula for disaster. Change the subject immediately and (I strongly suggest) find a more mature friend. In fact, I think it's wise to always be seeking mature friends, but as you mature you will find that you draw more mature beings to you.... less drama and childish silliness.
Let me know how it goes, if you feel so inclined.
Love ya, Jed