First student:
It released! I got really stuck with this one. It just kept eluding me. I dug deep and found several layers to the feeling and met those. And there was a release with that, but it left me feeling depleted and melancholy. I was just about to write to you about that, but I figured I'd go inside one more time and see what was left. Interestingly, what I found was left was my attachment/importance to guilt, almost like I'd been addicted to it. And once I realized that I felt into the attachment to guilt and it popped pretty quickly.
Second student:
Hi Jed,
I practiced Exercise 10 a bunch of times already over the last few days and my sessions have been between 40’ to 1.5 hours.
At the peak of experiencing the feeling of unworthiness, my body is fully tensed. There’s the sensation of crying without tears. In one occasion I started to hit my own body. After the full tension, there’s a feeling of relief as in a estate of deep meditation. I guess this is the ‘poof’ you talk about, as it gets to a point that unworthiness cannot be felt and I cannot even command the feeling of unworthiness.
One side effect of this exercise is that I’ve been feeling freer during the day. I usually have some constant tension in my gut and this practice has led to a flow feeling and the drop of the avoidance of the present moment. It’s not totally gone, but I can really feel the difference and there’s a big relief associated.
How do I know if I dropped totally the unworthiness identification? Shall I do the exercise with other feelings (i.e. guilt)?
Thanks.