In all this I feel the need to write, to be clear and honest, might as well be here.
I can see how much I think this is going to do "for me." It's so obvious in this moment, it's been sinking in for a bit now, I see that in hindsight, but I can see how ego, has attached a lot to awakening, "what am I going to get out of this?" It's become immensely clear...... my money problems will be solved, life will just work our perfectly for me, everything will go my way, whatever that means, I know I'm being redundant, but it seems so obvious now. Like this was being held back in the shadows..... in the depths of my mind, and yet I can see how much it permeated, no matter how "good," our intentions ego can always slip in.
Yet, this recognition, that I've been holding out, saying I know enlightenment will get me nowhere and nothing, but really in the whispers of my mind saying, but yah... I mean that's fine, but it'll solve all my problems right?....... This recognition is huge. It feels big, it's a another step, towards removal of the false. I can't even say what in particular triggered this, it just did. I don't know..... Thank you
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