INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

Hi Jed. Yes this sense keeps coming back to me. It I haven't accepted it yet. I S eem to be exhausting all other possibilities first and it seems necessary. The first time it occurred to me was overwhelming to the point of apoplexy. I am nothing. Damn. What a mindf***.

A little etymology wrapped in biblical mythology (you know since it is nearly Christmas)

Man fell from Eden through sin.
Sinning = missing the mark.
Missing the mark created the knowledge of good and evil (read: duality), which created suffering (adam had to get a job now to sustain himself and eve had to suffer from giving birth to children with gigantic information filled heads). Suffering = discomfort = disease = insanity.

How do you like them apples 


Marcel

"Man fell from Eden through sin."
I may be reciting the story wrong but they say the knowledge of good and evil was from  biting the apple right? They were given a (good/bad) choice as soon as god said not to touch the apples. In that story god made duality as soon as he said not to do something (ie: something can be wrong).

Childhood: Reacting (agreeing or disagreeing) with the will of others (supposed or imagined) i.e. parents, teachers, friends, politicians, ecclesiastical leaders, gods and so forth. This reacting is "victimhood", a blinding state in which the self is unknowingly self-victimized by it's own acceptance of programmed beliefs. Like trying to see the sun from the bottom of the ocean, the child (at whatever age) is in a constant sense of drowning, hence the "quiet desperation" most live with. A debilitating and difficult to see ego structure.

Adulthood: The rejection of other's opinions as gospel truth, the beginning of Self-Reliance, the shedding of self-limiting beliefs and the inception of the ability to navigate and create what one desires within supposed Reality. Attendant is also the beguiling sense of "I've got this figured out!" creating self righteousness, a new ego structure that itself becomes an impediment to "further".

Truth Realization: The total awareness that the "Self" is a fiction. One's imagined grip on reality is seen for the illusion it always was, as is one's sense of any objective or subjective reality.

The complete Understanding that no-thing can nor ever could fill the existential void at one's core, which then eliminates the sense of void altogether.

The internal (and possibly external) cascade failure of all supposed structures that seem to hold or prop up the "self" within; time, space, humanity, gender, family and any other belief/faith based story of one's relationship to some-thing or some-one, including self (duality) which leaves; No self.
The final and abiding elimination of a sense of separateness from All That Is which facilitates the total acceptance of what is i.e.. equanimity, cessation of the desire/pleasure cycle. Purely experiential, non-expressible. (And yet  there appears to be trying ...)

Story: All of the above.

Paradox: Story apparently continues while the Understanding maintains that story is a fiction, one foot in, one foot out. "In the world but not of the world".

Perfection What is.

Unhappiness: A supposed self seemingly trapped in an illusion of disagreement with What Is.

Happiness: State of equanimity produced from total alignment with What Is.

Entertainment The feeling brought about while attempting to explain the unexplainable.

  funny as hell ain't it!

So,   there is no 'me', its just a trick of light and reflections. 

There is no so called 'reality of physicality'

'Time' just another idea/story.

'Control and will', a story of maintaining ego

'I' had a plot, lost it, but its still around as an echo.

Things this so called body comes into contact with can seem vast compared to how they appeared in the story of 'I'  before.  Awareness is appearing quantum in nature, each thing attention gazes on can open up to the point where i lose the story of 'things', not knowing what they are, or are for.

Yesterday i witnessed shadows stretching in a way the relic of my human form would have found impossible, an aliveness within them. (Not a metaphor)

What delight!

On the edge of dreaming i saw that i just don't exist, something saw the fiction of 'me'. 'I' am not confined to a physical organism, at the very least the sense of being fills the entire perceptual scene, and this just unfolds itself through time, no effort will meaning or explanations required. The awareness of my own absence is growing too, leaving a 'me' shaped hole. This dissolution appears to follow a natural current. Heck, i didn't put much effort into things before, now i realise there is no need to bother at all. Everything is a river.

During the day it becomes apparent that i am as much the person i am talking to as the focal point i previously took to be 'me'. Then work and concentration kick in and 'building things' just happens.

This is all very ordinary, and i frequently lose all interest in things like this forum or ideas of advancement. I mean, nothing is in charge, why ask anyone else? Despite that when i do return here and find new words there is a boost of some sort, a re-alignment that feels like an instant solar recharge. "Oh yeah that stuff".

Attachment to relationships also has weakened, or rather the roles enacted are undergoing changes. For what feels like the first time in ages i am looking to what i want, things that please me, rather than endless pleasing of others. Similar with looking at my own advice. Amazed that this is foreign feeling. just like with the dream, much is dissolving, the glue of 'self' is receding like shadows that never were.

Strange how losing self is bringing into sharper focus things something that i shall try to capture with the words 'authentic contentment'.  When alone vast tracks of thinking have left leaving peace in  their wake. Either that or just arguing with people and caring less and less.