I can define free will as doing what I want at any moment.
Yeeeeah!!!
Lian, thank "you" so much!
The key component for me was "at any moment".
Offcourse! Now my mind sees, that it cannot control itself at ANY moment. Even the wish to control came only NOW, not 2 hours ago. The wish or intent also arises only when it arises. Not at ANY moment, but only when it's "time".
I see now that I don't control myself. Even this understanding is not my achievemnt. It just happened. Not when I asked for it, but when it happened.
It hurts a bit, but is also liberating.
This is another prove that our posts can be VERY helpful to each other. You never know what can click in your mind. Just TWO words and the next door is opened and another illusion is recognised and destroyed automatically just by understanding. Total mind f**k and I love it. Wow!
Example of typical inner dialogue in the mind or between two characters:
- I can quit smoking whenever I want.. At any moment!
- Oh yeah? Do it now!
- Now I don't want it, but if i did, I would quit immedieately!
- Really? So, Right now do it! Want it right now. Make this action of wanting right now!
- Well...Eeeehhh... mmmm.... I don't want to want.
- Ahahahah!!!
Love, Artyom.