Author Topic: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!  (Read 1206 times)

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2018, 12:26:08 pm »
Judge him, judge her, judge you... what's the difference... really, what is the difference?

I can't seem to find any.

Love ya, Jed.

Mr important

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #16 on: February 06, 2018, 04:26:09 am »
Big I is big, haughty, arrogant and eloquent, knows everything better and always has the strongest reply when needed and is able to demolish anyone who walks in his way. No exceptions. Almost no one can be trusted, so almost everyone is unnoticed in conflict with me. Calculating and always a few steps ahead of the 'opponent'. Nothing is what it seems and that means that the other side of the battle always has the feeling of controlling and being the winning hand. But nothing is less true. And the moment the 'counterparty' drowns and relaxes in its satisfactory condition. Then I mercilessly strike with all weapons collected on the way. Destroy everything. A Pyrrus victory. And when the glorious dance is over, loneliness takes over again.

Little I is full of doubts, afraid to be seen, afraid to be punished for who he is.

No one really likes the big I. He is dissatisfied, intimidating, regularly stomps and uses ridiculous tricks and excuses to not express his real need or feeling. If he is not seen then he roars for existence. If he does not get what he thinks he is entitled to, then it is always up to the other and all registers are pulled open to enforce what is supposedly necessary. While small I can do it so differently. He knows what he needs and why. Small I can do this differently, but he does not get the chance.

Little I hides behind the big I, and big I cover the little I. And every time little I behind that enormous I comes from then I find a great reason to declare the small self-confidence of little I invalid. Only when little I can fully accept myself can I go to rest and retire.

Little I is constantly looking for the perfect superior example. Great I judge if the chosen examples are good before they can see little I. Great I will first check if there is not a weakness in this person. Because other people's weakness can be harmful to small I proved so. If I discover a weakness in the examples, then I take great I violently to protect the little I. Little One is innocent, insignificant, unconscious, and unprejudiced. Great One is alert, much smarter than good for both of them, calculating, combative, suspicious, aggressive and unable to make concessions without exposing the weakness of the other. Everything to give small I a safe passage. But little I can now walk, talk, love, is resilient, does not need a great example anymore and is capable of sincerely relying on his environment. When will that huge I retire?

Last night in my dream I met little I. He stood patiently waiting for his father. With a blue white jacket, just changed front teeth, long hair and stubborn head. I squatted in front of him and looked at him for a moment. What a fun and sweet kid. What exudes a power from those shiny eyes. It's time, I thought. I gave him a hug and he looked at me confidently. I got a lucky quarter from his left jacket pocket. No dime, a quarter. Because ... a quarter of the whole that I am. Dad, mom and sister have the other quarters. There was a bit of rust but it still flashed. I put it back in his pocket, gave little I a hug, a kiss and a shovel and wished him success. And little I ... still looked so happy, innocent and uninhibited from his eyes as the reflection that I know from 30 years ago. Only now did he understand that the wait should stop. The war was long gone ... fortunately.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2018, 01:54:37 am »
 :o ??? ::) :P

Mr important

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2018, 07:19:59 am »
You sexy little swine :-*

guest1679

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #19 on: August 10, 2018, 08:53:14 pm »
An attempt to regain self-esteem, which further darkens TR.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2018, 05:52:58 am »
Impossible to darken T/R, it is pure light itself. But one can darken this dream... if they want to.

Love ya, Jed.

guest1679

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #21 on: August 12, 2018, 06:00:26 am »
Yes, the dreamer dreams revenge. Their cover story veils themself from the truth. (This is the darkness I was referring to).

Dreams deny the truth. No amount of denial can blind them from the truth. They have to know what to deny before they can attempt to deny it. So they will always know.

When their denial becomes uncovered, they often say to themselves "I always knew that". At that moment, they have no comeback. They just got a tiny taste of their own truth.

Long time ago, a therapist told me I was in denial. In defense I left the scene. Went and found a dictionary to look up the word denial. When I read the definition I said to myself "I always knew that". It was at this moment I realized that I could no longer trust my thinking.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #22 on: August 13, 2018, 12:15:41 am »
 ;) ;) ;) ;) :o :P :-*
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Escapist

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #23 on: September 24, 2018, 03:15:11 pm »
I feel like god has wronged me by putting me into this world. If I could find this guy inside a body, I feel like I would want to break each of his bones

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #24 on: September 24, 2018, 11:55:19 pm »
Get revenge against God, get deliriously happy. Might be fun.

Love ya, Jed

pretheesh

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #25 on: September 27, 2018, 08:15:40 am »
Trying to show off that i am happy and i am not hurt by my enemies etc could be suffocating , but pain of letting the enemy know that i am so hurt and failed and discouraged by his actions/words can also be suffocating.  :-\ . Though most of suffering is from self-image protective thinking.

I had experienced both ,if i dont have the guts to express hate and anger or even have the guts to accept i am a coward and then just be it without complaints, then suffering is unavoidable. These things were experienced many times in my work place to the point of having panic-disorder etc. But one morning i had the mind to take a paper and write resignation and end the job career, way better than sufffering for more years and getting cancer for nothing  :(
« Last Edit: September 27, 2018, 08:19:27 am by pretheesh »

pretheesh

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #26 on: September 28, 2018, 12:18:04 am »
It seems I can't know what would be my next self-hating, judging, discouraging or worrying thought. But it arrives of its own and countering after thoughts also arrives of its own, I can also ask so what are you going to do with this thought, then the next fkin thought comes. ☺️
« Last Edit: September 28, 2018, 12:19:35 am by pretheesh »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #27 on: September 28, 2018, 02:10:32 am »
You are fighting you thoughts and not giving them loving attention that they so need.

Love ya, Jed.
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pretheesh

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #28 on: September 28, 2018, 07:15:38 am »
To stand there and give space for the inner bully to express itself fully ,  but without falling for it, would require a skill that should be developed?
« Last Edit: September 28, 2018, 07:17:26 am by pretheesh »

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: How to get REVENGE!
« Reply #29 on: September 28, 2018, 09:49:39 am »
No skill needed, just awareness... nothing more.

Love ya, Jed.
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