INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

Dear Ferry:

Are you sure???

Love ya, Jed.

@ k1
Fascinating. How do you know an experience matches up other's experience?
Anyway, I haven't ask about the contents of that particular experience... The point is how you differenciate one experience from another, other then by valuing and prioritizing them. That's what I'm interested in.

@jed
yeh yeh, I'll shut up now. Enfant terrible.

I find myself chasing HA, chasing first step just because it was described in your books, I have a hard time letting that go. I fantasize of either having gone thought it and not realising it or doing stuff and basing decisions on what the imagined first step would be like.

I also chase yesterdays coffe and chocolate constantly, yesterdays beer, yesterdays love, yesterdays childhood, yesterdays suns warmth and shape of the moon. WHat is not a repeated experience? Do I even want new and fresh and energy and invigorating? Sometimes I really doubt it. Im just a liar. I just want the candy, I dont want the broccoli.

I dont really get what you are trying to say, sorry. I dont know what a first step is. I know nothing about it and probably would be better off if i knew even less.

TO continue the rant, Ive been extorting, blackmailing, trying to make experiences appear, experiences based on memory or memory mixed with expectation, but how could I know in advance what a new experience would be like? What a new state would be like? SO I have been doing what ive always been doing trying to get something new, not even new, ive been trying to get something old, hoping it would by some voodoo be new.

Now that is stupidity. I have just been trying my ass off to repeat what has been had. And lost.

 

So, I'm going to explain (to the best of my ability) my experience of the difference of between "Spiritual Experience” or S/E and Unity Consciousness U/C. (ha, that's not coincidence, U do C)

S/E is called for by a “you” mostly through the tool of prayer, personally I don’t like that word so let’s call it a “petition" since that’s what most prayers in the dream state are, children begging or petitioning for help out of their little quick-sandbox.

“Knock and it shall be opened unto you.” This old standard from the Christian B/S actually works, it’s just that most in the dream state only use it as a “red flare” to get them out of trouble, otherwise it sits ignored in the trunk of their mind. When utilized there can be a peacefulness that comes over the petitioner, a sense that things are ok and the troubled mind abates it’s disruption. for someone moving in an H/A state this prayer is not a petition or supplication but an “affirmation” a “Thy will be done” expression instead of a “Fix this up the way my ego'd like to see it please”. In H/A prayer is simply an expression of gratitude versus in H/C which is just a begging to get what you want.

U/C is not called for and cannot be called for, this is the first big difference between the two, like how in Damnedest Arjuna “Didn’t get out of bed asking to be enlightened, the Universe just flashed him”
I have had two U/C experiences, both were benchmarks in my sojourn here, the first jump started me from H/C to beginning H/A at the age of 30, the second opened the door toward T/R from H/A and happened at 49. The main factor that was present in both and facilitated both was that I was completely in the grips of Ego and anger prior to the event, Ego had come up hard against something that it could not control. This event I call “The Maelstrom”

Maelstrom |ˈmālˌsträm, -strəm| noun a powerful whirlpool in the sea or a river.• a situation or state of confused movement or violent turmoil.

There seemed no escape from the whirlpool of pain and confusion and violent turmoil that was completely overwhelming me, suicide was an extremely  viable exit strategy.

At some point during this Maelstrom, my “I Am" recognized the Ego creating all of it, all the pain and anger and in the light of this understanding the ego broke, it seemed to implode and was sucked into a nothingness. The only way I can explain what took place next is to say when the ego disappeared there was a vast, calm, emptiness inside me, the ego had filled it and it’s disappearance had created a vacuum and what quickly filled the vacuum was the Absolute.

All I could do was cry in ecstasy, in bliss (sorry Jed) for days the first time, weeks the second. The only way I have found to describe this is that nothing mattered, there was no matter and the most sacred Light, Love enveloped every part of whatever I wasn’t anymore. All was forgiven and never needed to be forgiven. Gah, on and on I could go, and on and on I went, for 2 1/2 years trying to re-create it, until I read Damnedest six months ago and then understood I was chasing the wrong thing, Without Damnedest I’d still be chasing it.

Thanks Jed.

I've had such experience. The first time was when I was about 11, during meditation, and I did get hung up on re-experiencing it, for the longest time. The second was about two years ago, out of the blue, and it mercifully came with the follow-up epiphany that experience and thoughts about experience (especially including the memory of it) are entirely different things. I generally credit the epiphany part of that as the bomb that cleared a lot of the deadwood from everyday interference with working memory…or at least colouring it an appropriate sepia when it features therein.

I had a couple, drug induced. I did spend a micro amount of time searching for it again through other means than just popping a pill again. Got over it. Fear and Loathing in las vegas + diary of don juan + putting my jedcap on helped me to quickly move past this sticking point.