Author Topic: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.  (Read 1264 times)

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10237
    • View Profile
Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« on: February 18, 2017, 12:44:13 am »
From a very early age I had a strange feeling that most of what I saw and experienced was backwards, like I was seeing things in a mirror that were somehow 180 degrees off. I observed parents telling me to always tell the truth, then turning around and lying like a rug. They were supposed to ''love'' their spouses and relatives. They sure didn't appear to me to behave that way. When I would come home from school and complaint that someone called me a stupid poopoo, or whatever, my parents would tell me that names mean nothing. Then they would go out into the world and literately kill themselves trying to make a name for themselves... seeking societal and peer approval.

Then it was time to dress up on Sunday and go to church... I couldn't get over it, awed by the hypocrisy. Love and forgiveness... my ass... they were there to show off a new car, a new fur coat or some socialite type contact they recently med. At my tender age I realized that perhaps the only way I could handle it all would be to see it as entertainment... just a big show set up to amuse me.. and it certainly did.

Sheesh... while I didn't have much vocabulary with which to grasp it all, but I did have a gut sense that this world was inhabited by deaf, dumb and blind people all pretending they could hear, see and think.

In my observations, most people just tow the party line and cave to the pressure. I did too, but to as small a degree as I possibly could just to get along. All the while there was a small voice was saying ''Run Forest, run!". I knew that someday I would break from of those stupid leg braces, ala Mr. Gump (mind braces) and experience some genuine freedom. I also knew that it was a DIY project because I could not find an other who was free who I could model. I did have a pretty good idea of what I didn't want to model. My quest to be an adult, a free adult, started somewhere around five years old.

I don't want to lead you to think that becoming a human adult was a digital thing.. not here yesterday, but click, here today. It never really ends because it inevitably/eventually leads to T/R. The revelations that come never cease. Truth is infinite, it has to be to embrace anything that arises.

Your apparent human body is a container that came with some basic programs, survival, procreation, etc. The paradox is that you are in your space suit at one level, at another level your space suit is in you, and at yet another level there is no you and no space suit. All levels exist and don't exist at the same time. Just as this apparent universe... it is and it isn't. You are here and you are everywhere and you are not... once again all at the same time, which time, BTW. doesn't exist.

So entertain this thought... no! Wait, let the thought entertain you. Trust that while they may appear, there is no particular law that says you must follow or believe them, or even that it IS you.

If you think your can reason your way though all this, let me know how you did it. In my not very humble opinion, it is impossible to do so.

If you can really give up... and I mean REALLY give up all desire to understand this, I assure you that you will come to an understanding that is impossible to put into words. Teachers have tried for 5,000 years to do so. The one word that come to me in this moment is ''sublime''. It only scratches the surface.

Love ya, Jed
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 02:16:17 am by Jed McKenna »

Social Buttons

Like Like x 1 Love Love x 2 View List

Frits

  • Guest
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2017, 04:49:56 am »
Thnx! I, me myself, started life in absolute numbness, hiding away from alcoholic father, a sick dysfunctional home-life and the absolutely uninteresting school. Around 15 years old I saw it was all bvllshit, so, not knowing anything else, I hid away again, but now in my own little fantasy world of me becoming a huge rock-star. Gotta aim big, right?

That didn't work, so at about 25 years old I started to investigate literally everything to make sense of it all, using mind, and it took me a long time to find out THAT doesn't work either... because, as I already knew at 15: it's all bvllshit. Not that I gave up investigating, but the investigating was given up, eventually, after many years and years and years... and there I am now, at 51 years old. Here but not here in a universe that is and isn't.

So, as you see, I took the long road... but hey, like you said, time doesn't exist and there is a lot of non-time to kill. ;D

My personal point is that I wasn't able to actively give it up, it was given up, but I didn't do it. (does that make sense?)
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 04:57:16 am by Frits »

TRN

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 36
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2017, 08:40:01 am »
Ahhh... I seemed to take a wrong turn long long time ago. My home life when I was little was hard, mom trying to make a living as a single parent while my one controlling freak of a grandma trying to induce as much guilt in everyone as she could. And when I realized this(around 4?) I spent a huge amount of effort to be a "grown up", be "mature" so I could help my mother fight off this world. Be mature. I knew that the adults are full of drama and bullshit, and I took it as what life is. Life is unforgiving. Life is judgmental. There is so little joy in everything and everyone but it's only normal this way.

It still haunts me. It's so deeply ingrained me as the foundation of beliefs, the damaged lens from which I see the whole world. I'm trying to help myself(by recognizing the nature of "self"?), but I don't really see a way.

Edit: that was just a story and there's no particular law saying I must believe it.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 08:44:56 am by TRN »

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10237
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2017, 09:47:27 am »
 ;) ;) ;)

abrakamowse

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 170
  • Location: New Jersey
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2017, 11:53:31 am »
When I was a kid I remember that my grandmother gave me a bracelet that it said "Truth shall make you free". At that age I thought " Well, that's true, because if I lie I get in trouble". Then I realized that the phrase had a deeper meaning. In the beginning I thought that there was an "objective" truth out there, that it must be on some kind of scripture, like the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, the Qoran, etc, etc. But I wasn't sure about it. I remember my father telling me about the stories in the bible, for example in the flood, he said that how did Noah do to put all the animals in a giant boat? There must be some kind of technology he knew to put the embryos of the animals with the help maybe of Extraterrestrials beings, that could be the Angels that he saw, etc.... Lol

And because I had a big imagination I liked that. Another thing I remember is that he told me (my grandfather was a pastor in an Adventist Church), that "we" dont put images of Jesus on the cross like Catholics, because the Bible says "You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below." Now I understand the deeper meaning of that phrase, it took me 47 years to know it Lol...  So, I had the Bible was that "objective" truth, but of course there were a lot of things in it that they were weird to me.
One day my father died, I was like 16 years old. So, I think that my reaction was to read the Bible searching for a reason, for a purpose in being alive. I don't know. But I remember that I went to my bedroom and I stayed there for a long time and I read the whole new testament. There were things that Jesus said that resonated so much to me. But others were like weird.
I was like "I never heard someone talking like that". And the thing that most impacted me was that he talked like some kind of authority, very sure of what he was saying. "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

That confused me, because it seemed to me that Christianity was the only way to God. And I was interested too in Buddhism, and other religions. So, I always had that thorn inside me telling me "what if Jesus is the only way?" I began to think that it was me that it must be wrong, that I couldn't see the truth. So one day I decided that I wanted to know that I was "saved". They told me that you have to have the mark of the holy spirit... what was that??? hehehehe... Oh my god.... So I prayed, that's the only thing I knew, I prayed to God, I asked him to show me that mark of the holy spirit so I could know that I was saved. (I was nuts, I know... )

Then, it happens the most marvelous think it have ever happened in my life (until I have enlightenment, I think... ) An Epiphany. I was full of love, a love that was not selfish, I was loving all the people that was around me at that moment. And I saw we were all connected. The world and me were alive, I saw the earth like breathing and there was life in everything, even rocks, buildings, everything... trees, etc...

Then it faded... but I become sure that Jesus was the only way. Because of my beliefs and I began to go to church, etc. And I almost become a Bible Thumper Lol...

To make it short, I continue not being happy. I didn't find happiness that way. Things were going bad, i was having problems with money, problems in my work, problems in everything and I become deeply depressed. So depressed that I had a psychotic episode. I couldn't control my thoughts and I had to escape from that "terrible" reality and I ended in a psychiatric hospital. That happened like 4 years ago. Now I am changed.
:-)

So I decided that I was going to stop everything, no more religion and BS. I decided that I was going to be a good father and husband, try to improve my $$$$ problems getting a  good job and forget it all.
So I began to read about self actualization and self help. And I found about enlightenment. So I began to think, what if enlightenment is the same as the Salvation Jesus was talking about?

So I began to read about it, I found Jed's books, I read Zen Books, I found Alan Watts, Nissagardatta, Ramana, I begin to listen to Mooji on Youtube, then Adyashanti and others. Non dual teachings and I understood that Jesus was an enlightened guy, who was so identified with reality that he said "Me and the Father are one". Then it made sense that he said that he was the only way. Because he was it. Now I got it.

So that was my first little "liberation". And now I am discovering a lot of hidden truth in Christianity that is mostly on the Mystic Christians, that is hidden, no one on the church teach that. Like the texts from "The cloud of Unknowing", the books of Meister Eckhart, John of the Cross, Ignatius of Loyola and his Spiritual exercises, etc...

Now I am mixing a lot of Christian elements with Buddhist, seeing the similarities between them and trying to find that truth that "shall make me free"...

thanks Jed for this thread.
:-)
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 12:03:02 pm by abrakamowse »

Dobby

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 72
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2017, 02:41:36 pm »
Nice stories, all.

The story I made up was this:

Grew up in a non-religious Muslim background. Took up Islam passionately for many years. In hindsight, they look like dull years on an artificial high. On one level, I feel I put precious youthful years into that gig.I was an idealist and Islam gave expression to my general inclinations. So I guess it was appropriate for it's time and it wore out as time passed. Most of my friends were Hindu, so I got influenced by some of that too. Besides, I was also a self-help junkie. I had read hundreds and thousands of books on repetitive advice. The advice books helped me dream richer, more painful dreams. Exotic, huh?  :P

Basically I was so fanatically serious, so awfully zealous of being sincere, that I think I wore myself out. To add to it, life has a way of punishing you for your stupidity. The reason of my being religious was mostly because of petty fears of daily life and also a desire to be a "superior" person. When years and years of zealotry took me nowhere, I think I got worn out. Life became frustrating.

Jed's books then happened. Then it was one of the many books that were on my random reading list. It was recommended by a pick up artist on YouTube("10 books that will change your life" sort of thing). But somehow, Jed's book stuck. I haven't read anything stupid, after I read Jed's books. Jed's books stuck with me on a previously unknown level. I have read his trilogy tens of times over the past couple of years. I still do.

In the course of the elapsed time, what I see is that I am a much more normal person. The self-help and religious always want to be special and want to stand out. And I was always like that. Now, I am much more silent. Not very silent. I am still full of crap, I must confess. But I see that now.

I am so thankful I am not that miserable and hopeful person anymore. At least I got my ability to see a thing for what it is. All this, just bringing me back to square one. The rightful place in which a normal human being ought to be, wasn't it for these belief systems and self-improvement books in the market.

The fetishes were great, and so it took a while for them to go. Most of it, I can see, is gone for good. Maybe things lurk in the darkness of my subconsciousness. They do pop up. Just the process thingy... Let it happen as it happens.

When I was a kid, about 3 years old, I was mentally writing a book titled "Everything about human behaviour". Every day, I remember, I would make mental notes observing the behaviour of my parents, classmates, grand parents, and other people. Eventually, I got overwhelmed by the amount of deviations in behaviours every person exhibited. The child(me) failed to look inward. Just kept puzzling at an unsolvable puzzle that Maya is. Anyway. Nice nice.

I'm here now and let's see what the heck happens. 4 Months ago, I had a huge beard on my face. My beard was the largest beard I have personally seen. I had kept it for 9 years, never a blade, never a scissor; so it took some emotional strength to have it removed. But now I don't have any idea how I lived with that crap on me, day in and day out, for that many years! It serves as a fit emblem of the internal crap I used to haul around with me. And now I don't know how I even lived a normal life like that.

Apologies for the BS overdose.  ;D

Thanks,
Dobby.

Ruyter

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 46
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2017, 05:50:05 pm »
Insert dreamstate sequence:

When I was around 7 I would obsessively fantasize about what lay beyond the borders of the universe. In the years after I started second-guessing my thoughts up to the 100th degree, until I found out there was nowhere to go. 14 years later I red Jed's book which merely confirmed these formerly mostly subconscious conclusions.


Braden

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 53
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2017, 11:33:51 pm »
Hi Jed
I couldn’t have said it better!
How’s that for arrogance... LOL.

I’ve tried every which way I know to reason  my way through and the paradoxes just keep piling up.
There is a beauty to it once it is seen but it’s still bizarre.

I’ve reached a level of T/R that satisfies me.
I got more than I came for.

I don’t see there is more for me to understand.
In the end, it’s kinda a useless realization… “Oh, that’s what is going on – huh!”

It is beyond description.
Every time I open my mouth to even say a little bit about it, I listen to my own words and feel like an escapee from a mental ward – or the person listening is thinking that I forgot to take my meds for a few days.

I feel like I have given up on “understanding”.
I’m done.

But I am still left with the appearance of this body/mind experience.
I am still hovering between being ‘inside’ that experience and ‘observing’ that experience.
The ‘observer’ is somewhat indifferent to what is going on, but the me ‘inside’  is certainly not indifferent – especially when there is pain.

I’m even deluded enough to think I even understand what is going on here with the ‘observer’ and that ‘me inside’ being fooled by the sensory input.
There is a ‘me’ that realizes sensory input is actually a product of the perceiver – there is no ‘objective reality’ there is only ‘subjective reality’.

The whole thing is full of paradoxes.

A dream character  that can make his own dreams – including dreaming more dream characters that can make more dreams and more dream characters who…and the process goes on to infinity.

Yeah it’s a wild ride Jed.

I’m just trying to get better at dreaming my own little personal corner of reality.

And that I’d welcome some advice on.


lynnth

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 151
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2017, 03:45:41 am »
--
« Last Edit: February 24, 2017, 07:14:59 pm by lynnth »

Stark

  • Guest
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2017, 10:25:26 am »
I could write a tome on this (parents), but then again I DID write a tome on this. Didn't erase the issues  :D

Jed McKenna

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10237
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2017, 12:31:23 pm »
Dear Stark:

You created the issues and you can ''erase'' them. First off, accept full responsibility, not fault or guilt, but responsibility.

Love ya, Jed.

P.S. Step two comes later.

Stark

  • Guest
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2017, 01:09:16 pm »
My definition of issues was screwed ( like that 180 mirror thing). I thought of issues as drama in the environment, but now issues are what is arising in me that i know doesn't belong there and never did. Responsibility is reaaaally hard. Like sobering up for an alcoholic, but with less steps (preferably just ONE) and tonne harder.

Lian

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 176
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #12 on: February 27, 2017, 09:32:47 am »
When I was a kid, I said I wanted to awaken. Looking back now, I can say: Once you declare publicly you want to wake up, Maya knows who you are and what you are doing. People began to consciously project an illusion and hide the truth from me. They started to enter my cell, by extending their cells to cover me up, trying to imprint on me their fears and beliefs. I was thought to doublethink, to fear looking for myself and thinking independently, to always inform Maya if anything appears in my consciousness that could awaken me. Only now I am slowly moving beyond this conditioning.

Frits

  • Guest
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #13 on: February 27, 2017, 01:11:03 pm »
When I was a kid, I said I wanted to awaken. Looking back now, I can say: Once you declare publicly you want to wake up, Maya knows who you are and what you are doing. People began to consciously project an illusion and hide the truth from me. They started to enter my cell, by extending their cells to cover me up, trying to imprint on me their fears and beliefs. I was thought to doublethink, to fear looking for myself and thinking independently, to always inform Maya if anything appears in my consciousness that could awaken me. Only now I am slowly moving beyond this conditioning.

And the fun part is, no-one did that to you... you did it yourself, because there is only you.

sixohs

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 149
    • View Profile
Re: Jed Rant: Thoughts on thoughts.
« Reply #14 on: February 27, 2017, 05:54:24 pm »
yea,
this reminds me of the story of this guy,
who was walking around, doing a bunch of things, saying a bunch of things...and just over all a really active guy.
this dude, sometimes was just great.
The things he would do, and the things he would say.
oh what a guy.

Sometimes tho, he was a real potato head. haha. if u catch my drift.
So he would work hard to change his defects.
But while working on his defects, he would forget to remember, or remember to forget that he was actually an awesome guy!
Depending on the weather, or the moods, or the season, or the people, or the situations.
 
Sofa King, exhausting.
The great news is this guy took a seat one day, and was like *why is everyone being such a dick to me*
hahahaha, oh man.
boy oh boy.

Did the universe really pull a number on this guy.
Thats the best part about it.
Such a silly joke....but if never seen thru, would seem SO SERIOUS.
SO SERIOUS. hahaha.

If it weren't for the fact it was so minuscule and silly, some folks might actually make a mission out of making the world see the truth.

many tears of laughter, and abdominal cramps later make you see how amazing it all is.

cheers friends.