Hi Jed
I couldn’t have said it better!
How’s that for arrogance... LOL.
I’ve tried every which way I know to reason my way through and the paradoxes just keep piling up.
There is a beauty to it once it is seen but it’s still bizarre.
I’ve reached a level of T/R that satisfies me.
I got more than I came for.
I don’t see there is more for me to understand.
In the end, it’s kinda a useless realization… “Oh, that’s what is going on – huh!”
It is beyond description.
Every time I open my mouth to even say a little bit about it, I listen to my own words and feel like an escapee from a mental ward – or the person listening is thinking that I forgot to take my meds for a few days.
I feel like I have given up on “understanding”.
I’m done.
But I am still left with the appearance of this body/mind experience.
I am still hovering between being ‘inside’ that experience and ‘observing’ that experience.
The ‘observer’ is somewhat indifferent to what is going on, but the me ‘inside’ is certainly not indifferent – especially when there is pain.
I’m even deluded enough to think I even understand what is going on here with the ‘observer’ and that ‘me inside’ being fooled by the sensory input.
There is a ‘me’ that realizes sensory input is actually a product of the perceiver – there is no ‘objective reality’ there is only ‘subjective reality’.
The whole thing is full of paradoxes.
A dream character that can make his own dreams – including dreaming more dream characters that can make more dreams and more dream characters who…and the process goes on to infinity.
Yeah it’s a wild ride Jed.
I’m just trying to get better at dreaming my own little personal corner of reality.
And that I’d welcome some advice on.