Author Topic: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.  (Read 1864 times)

Jed McKenna

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Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« on: August 24, 2017, 11:34:54 am »
Dear Members and Lurkers:

What is guilt? A regret about something that happened in the past, a wanting of something to have been different..it's easy to make up your own definition and it is going to be appropriate for you. Make up a thousand definitions and not one will change what appeared to have happened in the past. Unless you have some voodoo up your sleeve. In addition, the past you would like to change is not as you remember it. You only have some vague pictures and stories about it.

Stories of the past can be changed though and rationalizations about the past are a favorite human pastime: he did, she did, they did, he cause me to do this, she caused me to do this, that organization caused me to do that, it was because of my parents and how they raised me ... blah, blah, blah. The memory of the past is just a story and piling on more stories is an energy wasting mind game.

Take blame, guilt and regret and ask yourself what do they hinge upon? What is the single and only component that is an absolute must in order for those experiences to exist, or at least appear to exist?

Without the sense of the personal, the ''I, me, my, mine'' up and running, then who is ''there'' to experience the blame, to feel regret and guilt? No one is home... but there's another facet to loss of the sense of the personal. There is no other person ''out there''. This is experienced as not seeing another but only one's ''Self'' (capital ''S'') as everything that is seen, heard, etc.

It's impossible for you to hurt anyone, as BK points out better than I, because it's only their stories of ''shoulds, woulds, can'ts, and musts'' that are being bruised. In reality they (you) hurt themselves (you). These imperatives are always based on the past because if they were based on the present one would instantly see what's going on and there would be no ''shoulds, woulds, can'ts, and musts'' because there is only what is and it's all You anyways.  If anyone is responsible for other's stories, it's certainly not you. You don't make up their stories, maybe your own, but certainly not theirs.

Have you ever been involved in a divorce or breakup. What really happens? It's usually one of the biggest comedy routines in this dream and it's repeated thousands of times every day. One party (their stories) feels deceived or offended by another party and thus the you-know-what hits the fan. Defenses (the fences) are raises, stories are cemented in place and sometimes it takes years for people to get over it. What on earth is going on?

Wife: Sorry baby, I don't love you any more.
Husband: Got it hon, I am having an affair anyways.
Wife: Wow, that sounds like fun.
Husband: Well, it is, at least temporarily as Jed has explained.
Wife: So, what will we do?
Husband: Well... I guess that breaking up is what comes next.
Wife: Sounds reasonable, let's list all those little details that we need to take care of.
Husband: Let's make a plan.

It that a ridiculous scenario... absolutely not and was pretty much what happened after my second marriage of 20 years (actually not the affair part... it was only inserted to get your attention). If you want drama and gnashing of teeth the go for it... FULL ON... mind you, it can be pretty tiring and I don't recommend it. Your will be putting unnecessary wear and tear on the body which will just age the dream character.

And then there are the ''friends'' who are quick to say ''We don't take sides'' and then promptly do so because their stories of you two as a ''couple'' has just been shattered.

I don't write this to criticize those who have gone through such travails... I seek to point out that the anxiety that arises is an absolute and total waste of time. If your mate finds someone who seems to make him or her happier then why on earth would you not want them to pursue that. Don't you want someone you care about to be happy? Are you petty, jealous, envious, insecure... NO... you are just believing stories that are doomed to be blown out of the water... someday. Knowing that there is no such thing as another your experience the world is one. No one can hurt you and you can't hurt anyone... only their stories hurt and those stories are always stories of separation.

I understand that this rant sounds idealistic and quite impossible to execute when view from within the human dream. Realize your True Nature and it will effortlessly be your experience. Go there... and find out for yourself. It's the only way you will believe and experience it. Be careful about jumping to conclusion when you haven't walked the walk of T/R. Stories are not living, they are fictions. You can't ''deal'' with guilt because it is just another story. When nothing is personal this whole dream lightens up and is seen for what it is. You can make up any story you feel like, but you will never believe it again. With no belief attached there is no crash possible.

Love ya, Jed.



 

« Last Edit: August 24, 2017, 08:11:42 pm by Jed McKenna »

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EternalDawning

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2017, 06:33:11 am »
It's not unreasonable at all.  When my husband and I divorced we had a few days of the best most open conversations in 9 years.  It was time to move on.  Love 'em and let 'em go.

It's reasonable when there's reasonability.

Harrisonhappy

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2017, 10:24:32 am »
Thanks Jed ! it's relieved to read the article. I just broke up with my boyfriend,but I still miss him,wove the story about Me&myself&I&Mine. :'(

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2017, 12:36:56 pm »
Just be as aware as possible without judgments.

Love ya, Jed.

Mr important

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2017, 03:08:07 pm »
After my perspective on this weird thing called life changed to one. I was capable of forgiving myself and my ex wife (and everybody else).  Before that i was fighting every experience that the situation brought to and through me. Nice article. Resonates pretty damn well.

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2017, 11:35:56 pm »
Thanks for sharing guys and gals.

Love ya, Jed. l

Dobby

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2017, 07:43:00 pm »
The whole thing seems so sad  :'( . But if you cannot have the low of leaving people, you probably cannot be euphoric of being with a person. I'm just guessing. My dream character has a non-existent love life anyway.  :P

Thanks,
Dobby.

EternalDawning

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2017, 09:45:48 am »
Guilt is a convoluted story for martyers and victims of overgrown imaginations.  It's a level of specialness and individuality too great to fully claim.  It is the pitchfork at the gateless gate keeping heaven at bay. 

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2017, 10:56:26 pm »
Yup.....

no one

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2017, 03:40:51 pm »
Hey Jed. I hope all is well with you. I feel some guilt when I write because it's all give and all take: you give, I take...all the time.  :'( Apparently my selfish desire for T/R overrides any concerns for you. My mind just said, "But he created this forum, he's here for you." Perhaps I can donate some dinero to your efforts in Cambodia??

I have really nice neighbors, so I will be happy for them if they win. Now, there are some days, when I won't have that feeling and thought, "Damn, I wish it was me that won!" And, then I'll have those days when that feeling is not present. Sometimes it seems like I'm quite grown up, and then in the blink of an eye....I can act or feel like a 3 year old or an adolescent. I'm not stable, Jed! I'm tryin' though.

So, when Grace has come upon me and the Heart opens wide, or stories are just dropped or seen through, the relief, and the compassion and love for self and 'other' is what I experience as that peace that passeth all understanding. I AM grateful for those 'openings,' without a doubt....here come the 'but.' But then the heart closes again, and stories are believed, and out the door goes the peace. Feeling' a wee bit sorry for me self  >:(

In the dream, is it just conditioning that keeps pulling 'me back in?' Damn, no one is getting pulled back in. How to stop identifying with this character with nothing else to identify with? Attempt to drop the thinking mind and TRY to experience what is right here, right now? I've read that no effort is needed and also that effort is needed. It feels like it takes some[/i]effort to relax and just observe what's actually present. A relaxed kind of effort, not that, do it if it kills me kind.

Thinking: do i have to identify with something? who or what identifies with something?  Thank you for taking the time to read this, Jed.

davidr

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2018, 05:22:14 pm »
"No one can hurt you and you can't hurt anyone... only their stories hurt and those stories are always stories of separation." ...Maybe the best words anyone ever said to me.

Looking back, I always suffered most in this life when I believed I was the cause if someone else's suffering.

purpleroses111

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2018, 01:28:54 am »
Jed, can you elaborate on this, your last line in rant?

"With no belief attached there is no crash possible."

Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2018, 09:30:24 pm »
Name some disappointment that was NOT preceded or attached to a belief that didn't seem to be true or hold water.

Game Hint: No belief is true, that's why one needs to believe. You only believe what isn't true. Faith is even further removed from what is true.

Love ya, Jed.
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Masahiro13

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2018, 05:53:10 pm »
Thanks Jed. Guilt, regret, remorse, all these hinge on one simple belief - that things could be different than what they are. That multiple options thru life exist and can be chosen at will. This is obviously false in the present moment, and patently ridiculous to apply to the past. No other option is available.
All these negative reactions are displays of human adults still stuck in the terrible twos. I WANT IT MY WAY AND I AM GONNA KICK AND SCREAM AND MAKE MY LIFE AND THOSE AROUND ME UNBEARABLE UNTIL LIFE CHANGES TO SUIT MY AGENDA.
Might have worked with my mum in the shops when I had the ability to embarrass her into giving in. Some how I don't think life is even listening.
This and only this. What else is there?
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Jed McKenna

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2018, 01:55:57 am »
Yes indeed, what else is there  ??? ??? ???