Author Topic: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.  (Read 2314 times)

no one

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Re: Jed Rant: You can't deal with guilt.
« on: November 03, 2017, 03:40:51 pm »
Hey Jed. I hope all is well with you. I feel some guilt when I write because it's all give and all take: you give, I take...all the time.  :'( Apparently my selfish desire for T/R overrides any concerns for you. My mind just said, "But he created this forum, he's here for you." Perhaps I can donate some dinero to your efforts in Cambodia??

I have really nice neighbors, so I will be happy for them if they win. Now, there are some days, when I won't have that feeling and thought, "Damn, I wish it was me that won!" And, then I'll have those days when that feeling is not present. Sometimes it seems like I'm quite grown up, and then in the blink of an eye....I can act or feel like a 3 year old or an adolescent. I'm not stable, Jed! I'm tryin' though.

So, when Grace has come upon me and the Heart opens wide, or stories are just dropped or seen through, the relief, and the compassion and love for self and 'other' is what I experience as that peace that passeth all understanding. I AM grateful for those 'openings,' without a doubt....here come the 'but.' But then the heart closes again, and stories are believed, and out the door goes the peace. Feeling' a wee bit sorry for me self  >:(

In the dream, is it just conditioning that keeps pulling 'me back in?' Damn, no one is getting pulled back in. How to stop identifying with this character with nothing else to identify with? Attempt to drop the thinking mind and TRY to experience what is right here, right now? I've read that no effort is needed and also that effort is needed. It feels like it takes some[/i]effort to relax and just observe what's actually present. A relaxed kind of effort, not that, do it if it kills me kind.

Thinking: do i have to identify with something? who or what identifies with something?  Thank you for taking the time to read this, Jed.