Dear Members and Lurkers:
What is guilt? A regret about something that happened in the past, a wanting of something to have been different..it's easy to make up your own definition and it is going to be appropriate for you. Make up a thousand definitions and not one will change what appeared to have happened in the past. Unless you have some voodoo up your sleeve. In addition, the past you would like to change is not as you remember it. You only have some vague pictures and stories about it.
Stories of the past can be changed though and rationalizations about the past are a favorite human pastime: he did, she did, they did, he cause me to do this, she caused me to do this, that organization caused me to do that, it was because of my parents and how they raised me ... blah, blah, blah. The memory of the past is just a story and piling on more stories is an energy wasting mind game.
Take blame, guilt and regret and ask yourself what do they hinge upon? What is the single and only component that is an absolute must in order for those experiences to exist, or at least appear to exist?
Without the sense of the personal, the ''I, me, my, mine'' up and running, then who is ''there'' to experience the blame, to feel regret and guilt? No one is home... but there's another facet to loss of the sense of the personal. There is no other person ''out there''. This is experienced as not seeing another but only one's ''Self'' (capital ''S'') as everything that is seen, heard, etc.
It's impossible for you to hurt anyone, as BK points out better than I, because it's only their stories of ''shoulds, woulds, can'ts, and musts'' that are being bruised. In reality they (you) hurt themselves (you). These imperatives are always based on the past because if they were based on the present one would instantly see what's going on and there would be no ''shoulds, woulds, can'ts, and musts'' because there is only what is and it's all You anyways. If anyone is responsible for other's stories, it's certainly not you. You don't make up their stories, maybe your own, but certainly not theirs.
Have you ever been involved in a divorce or breakup. What really happens? It's usually one of the biggest comedy routines in this dream and it's repeated thousands of times every day. One party (their stories) feels deceived or offended by another party and thus the you-know-what hits the fan. Defenses (the fences) are raises, stories are cemented in place and sometimes it takes years for people to get over it. What on earth is going on?
Wife: Sorry baby, I don't love you any more.
Husband: Got it hon, I am having an affair anyways.
Wife: Wow, that sounds like fun.
Husband: Well, it is, at least temporarily as Jed has explained.
Wife: So, what will we do?
Husband: Well... I guess that breaking up is what comes next.
Wife: Sounds reasonable, let's list all those little details that we need to take care of.
Husband: Let's make a plan.
It that a ridiculous scenario... absolutely not and was pretty much what happened after my second marriage of 20 years (actually not the affair part... it was only inserted to get your attention). If you want drama and gnashing of teeth the go for it... FULL ON... mind you, it can be pretty tiring and I don't recommend it. Your will be putting unnecessary wear and tear on the body which will just age the dream character.
And then there are the ''friends'' who are quick to say ''We don't take sides'' and then promptly do so because their stories of you two as a ''couple'' has just been shattered.
I don't write this to criticize those who have gone through such travails... I seek to point out that the anxiety that arises is an absolute and total waste of time. If your mate finds someone who seems to make him or her happier then why on earth would you not want them to pursue that. Don't you want someone you care about to be happy? Are you petty, jealous, envious, insecure... NO... you are just believing stories that are doomed to be blown out of the water... someday. Knowing that there is no such thing as another your experience the world is one. No one can hurt you and you can't hurt anyone... only their stories hurt and those stories are always stories of separation.
I understand that this rant sounds idealistic and quite impossible to execute when view from within the human dream. Realize your True Nature and it will effortlessly be your experience. Go there... and find out for yourself. It's the only way you will believe and experience it. Be careful about jumping to conclusion when you haven't walked the walk of T/R. Stories are not living, they are fictions. You can't ''deal'' with guilt because it is just another story. When nothing is personal this whole dream lightens up and is seen for what it is. You can make up any story you feel like, but you will never believe it again. With no belief attached there is no crash possible.
Love ya, Jed.
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