INVISIBLE GURU FORUM

I would argue carefully that i went through steps 1 to 3 quite fast. When i started questioning everything about 20 years ago, it was like an avalanche. Unstoppable.
Now it feels like i stuck at step 4 for at least 10 to 15 years. There were always moments of just playing my role (education, work, relationships, dreams of the future...) BUT, there was always the feeling of...got infected with something. This little voice and feeling that this isnt as it seems to be. Maybe a bit of uncomfortable.

But...it was always about more knowledge. Maybe this teacher will enlighten me. Im sure THAT book will bring me clarity and therefore end this endless search.
Always this searching and searching. Sometimes i feel very tired of searching, of trying to find...this. Its curious, because i 'know' pretty much and heard SO MANY things that this cant be found, has never left and so on. AND STILL, this me here kept searching. Its ridiculous.

Would you compare step 5, the realization, with just...witnessing of what is? Just seeing, feeling, tasting...being aware of 'this', of whatever is happening or not.

Because...there is never something else than this. Not matter what this is or isnt, it is what it is. There is no knowledge about the past, maybe memories but thats just an idea. Theres no knowledge about the future, its obvious. There is just this...i wouldnt call it a moment. I wouldnt call it 'my surroundings'...its whatever happens in front of the camera, with no camera back there.

Kranor already wrote pretty much how I'd put it, even the years!

Maybe we realize what we always realized but seemed to forget.

Hi Krill:

Thanks for sharing. My experience was similar up to a point, the coming in drips and drabs.... but when the 'realization' arrives/arises, you never ever forget it. You might not pay it much attention, but it's always there. It's like tinnitus... if someone has it, preferably mild, you can ask them if they are aware of it. They will stop for a moment, listen, and then go, ''oh yea, it's still there''. That's the best metaphor I can come up with at this moment.

Take care and love ya,

Jed.

Cheers mate.....

Pretty spot on in my experience. As for 'believing', I went through the stage where I wanted everyone to see what I saw (a form of attempted indirect validation I suppose) to realizing it was futile and I was most likely being perceived as nothing but highly obnoxious. Finally it all settled into such a deep conviction and realized truth that all urges and desire to share it with other people fell away. I know most others don't see what I see but in my day to day life I still operate from the assumption that everyone knows what I know and sees what I see. It isn't until someone indicates to me otherwise that I realize the are living in a completely different paradigm from me...or at least that they believe they are.

Maybe I have confused you, but I want to focus and keep it as simple as possible, and it really is simple.

Thanks for the replies, to all of you.

I found myself contemplating of what you said and got stuck a bit. I want to go further and have a sense that, in this case, its just due to language barriers.

Is 'it' even simpler and plainer than 'being aware of what is'? Without one who is aware or some place where the awareness lies like the example of the happenings in front of a camera, but the camera is also a happening.

Maybe this is just getting deeper in step 4, the 'knowing part'. Maybe this is for the me who wants to understand it intellectually. But i dont want my thoughts rotate in a circle.

Just keep it on the 'down low'.

Love ya, Jed